Not fit for purpose?
You can send him back.
“I think you knew the first time you touched me, where this would end. I think you have always understood that the destiny of glass is to break.”
Blake Auden
Growing up, I was surrounded by fairy tales and romcoms that painted a picture of the perfect love story – boy meets girl, they fall in love, and live happily ever after. With age although my love of romcoms never diminished, I finally accepted that reality seldom lives up to the fairy tale. Yes, Cinderella’s fairy godmother sent her to the ball, her glass slipper led Prince Charming to her and they lived happily ever after. If only reality was so gloriously simple, but no. Real-life relationships are hard work and navigating through the disillusion of constant disappointments and broken promises of love is arduous and somewhat exhausting.
Thank God for The Sale of Goods Act 1979 to help navigate some of this 🤣. Goods are required to be as described, of satisfactory quality and fit for purpose. Fit for purpose means both for their everyday purpose, and also any specific purpose that you agreed with the seller. Goods sold must also match any sample you were shown in store, or any description in a brochure. The only time goods are not required to be a satisfactory quality is if a defect or issue was specifically drawn to your attention before you bought them.
When I first saw you in the showroom, you looked so shiny and new. But I knew that couldn’t be the case. Nothing vintage is ever new. I chose to get a little closer, I wanted to see how you’d faired with time and whether your previous owners had been good to you. Did you still have all your original features or were there enhancements? It wasn’t until I got in and took you for a test drive that I realised although you’d been loving restored on the outside, the bits you couldn’t see immediately, hadn’t been given the same treatment. You were yet another car with a shiny exterior whose engine was broken.
Did that put me off? No. When you get to this age, you know there will be wear and tear, and in truth we’re all broken in some way or other. It’s just some of us have been restored with much more love and care than others. We come with a regular service history for a more comfortable ride. We could last the test of time and the journey would be pure joy. well most of the time. However, much to my disappointment it was clear your previous owners had neglected you, and you were trying to play catch up, in desperate need of a full service. What was worst however, they’d sold you to the next unsuspecting buyer, teaching you that neglect was the norm. Leaving me with a glaring question, was that how you would treat your new purchase?
- THE GAME OF UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS.
We set ourselves up for epic failure when we compare our own relationships to the picture perfect, flawless relationships we’re bombarded with in the movies and social media. All around us we see these deliriously happy couples and perfect romances. It’s no wonder we often find ourselves disillusioned when our own love stories don’t live up to this supposed realty. However, these portrayals are nothing more than a beautiful facade. What we fail to see is, these relationships may look perfect on the outside but are often filled with disappointment and unmet promises on the inside. They’re no different to ours. - WHAT YOU SEE ISN’T ALWAYS WHAT YOU GET.
How many times have you fallen for someone who seems perfect on the outside, only to discover they’re broken on the inside? I’m not embarrassed to admit that I have, several times. The disappointment hits you like a tsunami, leaving you feeling hurt, angry, and let down. It’s at these times we have to remind ourselves that someone can say all the right things, pretend to do all the right things, but inside, they can still be broken. Don’t beat yourself up for getting it wrong, not everything is what it seems, even salt looks like sugar before you get to taste it. - WHEN LOVE FALLS SHORT.
Life and love are like a rollercoaster, full of ups and downs. Sometimes, we find ourselves falling for someone who appears shiny on the outside but is broken on the inside. It’s disheartening when the reality doesn’t live up to our expectations, and we realise that the person we fell for isn’t who we thought they were. But here’s the thing – disappointment is a natural part of life. Relationships are complex, and people aren’t always who or what they seem. Just like the car with a shiny exterior but broken engine, it’s what’s on the inside that truly matters. It’s not your job to fix the engine, only the owner can do that, but you can always keep a close eye on the progress. - NAVIGATING DISAPPOINTMENT REQUIRES STRENGTH.
We can’t control how others behave, we can only focus on ourselves and our reaction to their actions, or in most cases lack of action. When he falls short of our expectations, we need to learn to be honest with ourselves, set clear boundaries and know when to walk away. We all deserve someone who knows how to love us for who we are, flaws and all. I know it’s not easy, but trust your instincts and believe that the right person will come along. Someone who is not only shiny on the outside but also whole on the inside. - LET GO. NOT ALL LOVE STORIES ARE MEANT TO BE PERFECT.
Love is a funny thing, isn’t it? We grow up believing in fairy tales and happy endings, only to be disillusioned when our own love stories don’t live up to the same fairy tales. Maybe for our own sanity it’s time we let go of the idea that love has to be perfect, the notion that our partner should meet all our needs and desires. Once we let go of these unrealistic expectations, we open ourselves up to a different kind of love. One that is real and authentic. A love that allows us to grow.
It’s not always easy to let go, especially when the heart is involved. If we learn to separate fantasy from reality, we’d all be much happier. Every relationship comes with its own set of challenges. It’s tiring constantly striving for an unattainable ideal, maybe it’s time to embrace the imperfections and complexities of love. So, the next time I find myself feeling disappointed or let down by a relationship, I’m going to ask myself if my expectations are realistic and why after all this time, I’m still holding out for that illusive fairy tale? Maybe it’s time I embraced the realities of imperfect love. Instead of dwelling on what could have been, choose to let go and move forward, learning from the experience and recognising that not all love stories are meant to be picture perfect.
The silver lining? If he’s not fit for purpose, I can always send him back and trade him in for a newer model. And who knows maybe the upgrade could be the fairy tale ending I’ve been holding out for. Fairy godmother. I’m ready to go to the ball 🤣
LOL, Oh Suki this just made me laugh out very loud. I can not tell you how many times I’ve wanted to send a man back. The next time it happens, i’ll be sure to recite the Sales of Goods Act to him. More men should read your blog, it would give them a great insight into all ALL the things they’re doing wrong