They say losing a parent changes you forever. They also say time heals all wounds. What they fail to mention is that grief isn’t linear, it’s an unpredictable mess of emotions. Like a tornado, utterly devastating. One moment, you’re standing in the calm before the storm, convinced you can weather it. The next, you’re being lifted off your feet, and dropped into a reality where everything you once knew is shattered & drenched in sorrow.
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“You’re not yourself when you’re triggered. You become who you think you need to be to survive.” You can tell a lot about someone by the way they pack for a holiday. Some people neatly sort everything into labelled pouches. Others stuff things in haphazardly, overpacking. But then there are the secret hoarders, that carry things they don’t even realise they’ve packed & i don’t mean bikinis, i’m talking about emotional baggage.
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It takes between 18 and 254 days to break a habit, crazy right? But what can we do, we’re creatures of habit, repeating our actions, thoughts, and even emotions until they form a rhythm, a beat we dance to every day without a second thought. But what happens when that rhythm starts to suffocate us? Can we ever break free from the habits that define us or are we doomed to repeat them, over and over in some twisted version of groundhog day?
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If I had a penny for every time I heard the words “you’re one of the strongest women I know” I’d not only be strong, I’d also be rich, very rich. And who can blame them? They’re not wrong, I am one of the strongest women they know. Not because I chose to be, but because I had to be. My whole life I’ve been the ‘older sister’ ‘the eldest child’ ‘the planner’ & ‘the one that will sort it out’. Did I ask for any of this? No, but is it who I am? Yes.
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Over the last few years, I’ve been on a different kind of journey, one that turned out to be one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life. The currency used here isn’t money, instead you trade old habits, inhibitions, and patterns of behaviour, a unknown place that you don’t plan to go but the plane makes an emergency stop. A place where you have to be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and embrace a true journey of discovery.
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In a world that’s always on, always connected, distraction is the norm and genuine connection is rare. It’s easy to get lost in this sea of distraction and feel overwhelmed and disconnected I’ve found myself yearning for silence, something quieter but infinitely more powerful; a higher frequency; a place where I can tune out the noise and tap into a deeper, more meaningful connection with myself, with others, and with the universe.
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Someone I once loved, gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that too was a gift.” Mary Oliver. Adversity is relentless, unapologetic, and often arrives without warning. In the grand narrative of life, it will always be the enemy, challenging our resolve, testing our limits, and pushing us to the brink of despair. But within our darkest moments, there’s lies a hidden strength, a quiet, unyielding force that whispers of resilience.
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“Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman.Too smart, too beautiful, too strong, too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will make you feel like you have to be less of a woman. The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand You do not need a smaller crown, you need a man with bigger hands” Michael Reid
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“When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear’ what she actually means is, there is nothing here for who I am supposed to be today.” Caitlin Moran. As I’m sitting here with my writer’s hat on (one of many that I wear throughout the day), I’m plagued by thoughts of the numerous roles the modern-day woman plays. All the while trying to be the best versions of ourselves. Me… Daughter, sister, aunt, friend, coach, writer, cook, provider and finally me.
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“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.” Paulo Coehlo While channel flicking, I recently came across a programme, exploring the beauty of Polygamy. The Monogamist in me watched on, mortified at these couples’ swapping partners without a care in the world. I should have
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“Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.” Unknown
As someone who has spent many nights alone, I know the feeling of loneliness all too well. But with time I’ve also come to understand that being alone doesn’t automatically equate to being lonely. In fact, there are times when I love nothing more than spending time with myself.
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“Some people don’t love you; they don’t even care about you. They just want to stay connected to you. They love the benefits. So, they do the minimal. A little phone call here and there, just checking on you. What they are really doing is maintaining the connection, so when they need / want you, they still have a way in.”
Unknown
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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Annie Lamott
Care… A simple and universally understood word, once upon a time associated with looking after others. Now widely recognised by both men and woman about something we should do for ourselves. In today’s fast-paced world, we’ve become so caught up in the chaos …
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“It’s ok to have bad days, to put yourself first, to feel less than perfect, to want to feel more like you again.” Unknown
We all have those days when we think, could this day get any worse? And I’m not talking about the kind of bad day where you’re rushing out the door, trip and spill your coffee all over your pristine, white dress. F**k me it’s not even 9 a.m. Could this day get any worse?
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In the words of the very wise Maya Angelou “When someone shows you are they are, believe them the first time’.
Men are straightforward creatures. If they want something badly enough, they’ll be sure to let you know. Women on the other hand hold on for dear life to the smallest glimmer of hope, which is inherently why we get played. We let things slide …
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Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.
‘Know thyself’ arguably one of the oldest profound truths, which the Greeks inscribed on the temple of Delphi. But it seems that something seemingly easy still confuses us. Why you ask? Well, there are many reasons we never really truly know ourselves and therefore never completely belong to ourselves.
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“You are not a man until you give your love, truly & freely to a child. And you are not a good man until you earn the love, truly & freely, of a child in return.” Gregory David Roberts
It’s hard to understand love if you’ve never experienced it, and I’m not just talking about the love between two adults in a committed relationship, No, I’m talking about the kind of love that teaches you what real love is.
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“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.” Unknown
Each year when the clock strikes midnight we make all these silly resolutions. And if we’re honest, we’re never going to keep. But why do we feel the need to start the new year with promises to improve? Who started this never-ending tradition of self-imposed pressure?
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I often get asked ‘why are you still single?’ A question that makes me laugh and angers me in equal proportions. No one sets out to live their whole lives single, without the love, support & warmth of someone to walk beside them.I am single through choice and not because I have no choice. Like most women I have plenty of choice, but it’s what we choose to do with those choices that changes the course of our lives.
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We’ve heard it a million times, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Put bluntly we don’t talk the same language and we’re not turned on by the same things. It’s said men are visual beings while women emotional. This would explain why men need to be physical with a woman to feel emotions. Women on the on the other hand need to feel emotions before she can become physical with a man.
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