It’s time to strengthen your self-care muscle.
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
Annie Lamott
‘Ladies and gents, we’re experiencing some turbulence. Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts. In the case of an emergency please remember Oxygen masks will drop from above, always ensure you put your mask on before helping others’. Words we’re all familiar with, yet seldom pay attention to. Why? Because when instinct kicks in, it always tells us to help someone who we believe to be more vulnerable than ourselves before we help ourselves. But we never stop to ask ourselves a really important question. If I’m busy helping others, who is helping me? What happens when I run out of oxygen?
Care… A simple and universally understood word, once upon a time associated with looking after others. Now widely recognised by both men and woman about something we should do for ourselves. In today’s fast-paced world, we’ve become so caught up in the chaos of those around us and the world we live in, we often neglect our own needs. However, just like any other muscle in our body, our self-care muscle needs to be strengthened and exercised regularly. Essential to our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. And like any new exercise regime, we need to build up slowly and start with some basics.
- LET’S REFRAME SELFLESS
Selflessness while often seen as a virtue and noble act, only aids guilt when we consider putting ourselves first for a change. However, what we fail to see is, when we constantly put others first, it can often lead to burnout, stress, and in some cases resentment. By reframing the concept of selflessness, we not only acknowledge that taking care of ourselves is not a selfish act, but we also accept it’s an essential part of maintaining a healthy relationship with ourselves and our loved ones. Now I’m not telling you to turn into an awful, selfish person that doesn’t do anything for anyone other than themselves, all I’m saying is, learn to let go of the guilt and embrace the idea of ‘me first’ some of the time. - CULTIVATE CONTENTMENT
I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I haven’t strived for more. At times it feels like I’m on this treadmill, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t get off, God I hate running. Whether it’s striving for success, happiness, love, or fulfilment, we’re hell bent on chasing achievements, possessions, and experiences, with a misguided belief that it will bring us the contentment we crave. But if we’re honest with ourselves, this constant hunger for more is exhausting and leaves us feeling unfulfilled. Ironically the exact opposite of what we’re trying to achieve. - PRIORITISE INNER PEACE
We live in a society that constantly tells us we need more. More money, more success, more material possessions. It’s easy to get caught up in the race, that is Keeping up with the Joneses, always striving for the next big thing. But what if I told you that you don’t have to participate in this race and that it’s really easy to step away? I suspect you’d laugh. But it really is so very simple:- Step back and re-evaluate what truly brings you happiness and fulfilment.
- Shift your focus from external validation to internal contentment. God forbid you realise that true happiness comes from within, not from material possessions or meeting societal standards. As gorgeous as that Chanel handbag is, it’s not going to keep you warm at night. Become less concerned with what other people think and more focused on living a life that feels authentic and true to your values. Embrace your own path and find contentment in being true to yourself not to those around you.
- CREATE BOUNDARIES
Many people think that setting boundaries is a form of control, it’s not. It affirmation both to yourself and those around you of what you will and will not tolerate. Boundaries can stop us becoming overwhelmed or taken advantage of, ensuring we’re not constantly giving our energy away. By establishing clear boundaries, we are giving ourselves permission to say no when we need to, without feeling guilty or obligated. Yes, I know it’s not easy to break a pattern that you’ve spent a lifetime building, not only are you used to putting other before yourself, but they’ve also become accustomed to it. But if you want to create better, more balanced relationships built on a foundation of respect and understanding without resentment or burnout, it’s a must. - CULTIVATE RESILIENCE
Learn to fill your own cup so that you can show up as your best self in every way possible. Cultivating resilience need not be about turning your life upside down, no, it can be as simple as carving out time to do the things that bring you joy and help you relax.- Read a book that betters you.
- Take some time out to enjoy your surroundings with a simple walk.
- Practise mindfulness with yoga or meditation.
- Turn bedtime into a ritual to promote a better night’s sleep.
- Eat that slice of cake, if that’s what you want, but just remember I said slice, not the whole cake.
- Spend some quality time with those that ensure your cup runeth over. Friends and family that always put a smile on your face.
I’ll leave you with these final thoughts. Practicing self-care will be easy when you start giving yourself permission to put you first. Say no to those that are sapping you of your energy. Invest in yourself. Surround yourself with relationships and people that respect your boundaries, uplift your spirit, and support you prioritising your well-being. You deserve it
Remember that practicing self-care is not selfish, its necessary, not only to your survival but as the key to healthy relationships. If you don’t look after yourself, at some point you won’t be equipped to look after those you love. As the old adage goes ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and do something that makes me smile at the very thought of it…Facetime my lunatic nephews
