Once you grow, you glow. Let your inner light shine.
“I want to search & stretch, grow & glow, drip myself in wild creativity, & burn & breathe at once in this skin. In these lungs, wings untethered, under the moon, into the sky, & to dream big & bigger & biggest. To feel free in here, inside my anxious chest. to just feel free & to have the universe say… yes, you are worthy of all this.”
Butterflies Rising
It’s true what they say, ‘you can’t find yourself until you truly lose yourself’ and I’m not afraid to say over the last few years I’ve found myself lost in places very unfamiliar to me. Now don’t get me wrong, I love travelling, as much as the next person, maybe more so. I love the thought of going somewhere I’ve never been, but I’m a creature of habit, I never go anywhere that I have not thoroughly researched, just in case, I think I won’t like it.
However, over the last few years, I’ve been on a different kind of journey, one that turned out to be one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life. The currency used here isn’t money, instead you trade old habits, inhibitions, and patterns of behaviour. It’s the type of unknown place that you don’t plan to go but then your plane makes an emergency stop. A place where you have to be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and embrace a true journey of discovery.
Just when I thought I was done, I found myself back in a well-known place known as ‘dating fatigue’. Now I know this place well, over the last decade I’ve been there many times. In case you’re thinking of visiting I wouldn’t recommend it; I sincerely hope I don’t ever find myself back there. But sometimes you unexpectedly find yourself as a tourist, desperately trying to leave this very ugly place. I knew I was stuck here when I realised I was starting to feel disinterested and somewhat despondent again. With every date my light was dimming, my inner glow was turning into a dull malfunctioning light, sporadically flickering on and off, I no longer radiated. So, I stopped and said ‘enough, stop this madness’ stop I did.
It’s never easy questioning your choices, it’s even more difficult accepting you are part of the problem, but I also didn’t like this emotionless feeling of being dead inside. I found nothing and no one exciting, and if by some miracle one did slip through the net, they were ultimately emotionally unavailable. I’d lost my glow because I had stopped growing. I had stopped focusing on my needs, instead I started thinking more about what someone else wanted, in my desire to be more compromising, I had compromised myself. I was repeatedly questioning whether the person sitting in front of me found me attractive, when in fact I wasn’t even sure I was that attracted to him. Lo and behold, despite knowing my worth, I had put myself on sale.
I’m not sure how this happened, how I became that woman, but I needed to find the other woman, the one that radiated with confidence. Because when I felt like that, I was unstoppable, invincible, like the whole world was mine for the taking. I took a step back, I needed to understand what was really going on and I forced myself to ask some harsh questions. Why was I attracting men that I felt absolutely no connection to when we met in person? Why were all the men I was meeting emotionally unavailable? Was I actually attracted to this type? And shock, horror, gasp, was I the actual problem, not them?
I needed to get my glow back, that inner glow, that magnetic allure, the one that neither dims overnight nor just magics itself overnight. It takes time and is the result of something much deeper, it’s the result of growth. The evolutionary type of personal growth, where we shed our old skin, break free from the constraints of the past, and step into the light of our own authenticity. It’s about becoming the best version of ourselves, one glittering step at a time. Like diamonds in the rough, each with our own unique facets waiting to be polished to perfection. And just like a diamond, our true brilliance can only shine forth once we’ve undergone the process of refinement.
I needed to rekindle my journey of self-discovery, self-improvement, and self-love. It was time to peel back the layers of my experiences, of my upbringing, of past traumas, of limiting beliefs, to reveal the radiant soul that I’d lost somewhere along the way. I wanted to embrace the messy, the imperfect, the beautifully flawed aspects of every ounce of my being, knowing that’s what makes each and every one of us truly magnificent. I knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park. more like a marathon through the streets of London – exhilarating yet challenging, and at times, downright exhausting. It would require courage, resilience, and a healthy dose of self-awareness. It would mean confronting my demons head-on, facing my fears with unwavering determination, and refusing to settle for anything less than I deserved.
PLANTING THE SEEDS OF CHANGE:
Personal growth often comes from the most unexpected places. It’s not just about the big, life-altering events, but also the small, everyday experiences that shape us. It’s the books we read, the conversations we have, and the quiet moments of reflection that push us toward becoming better versions of ourselves. Every journey of personal growth begins with a single step. For me, as you know it started with a series of bad dates, that left me questioning my self-worth. These moments, though painful, were my seeds of change.
POWER OF SELF-REFLECTION:
Self-reflection is a crucial part of personal growth. It’s about taking the time to look inward and examine our thoughts, feelings, and actions. For me, writing, specifically this blog became a powerful tool for self-reflection. Every time something happened in my life, it would trigger me to write about my thoughts, and my emotions. It was a way to process my experiences and gain insight into my inner world. Through this, I began to identify patterns in my behaviour and thought processes. I noticed despite being confident, how often I doubted my worth, how I tended to think I was the problem, and how I struggled to set healthy boundaries. Recognising these patterns was the first step toward changing them. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.
EMBRACING VULNERABILITY:
Embracing vulnerability was a game-changer. It meant I had to be honest with myself and others about my fears, insecurities, and weaknesses. For a long time, I equated vulnerability with weakness. I believed that showing my true self would make me less likeable, less strong. But I couldn’t be more wrong. It allowed me to build deeper, more authentic connections with the people around me. It helped me to be more compassionate, both to myself and to others. And most importantly, it taught me that it’s okay to be imperfect. We all have our flaws and struggles, that’s what makes us human.
GOAL SETTING:
Setting goals is a powerful way to channel your personal growth. It’s about having a vision for the future and taking deliberate steps to achieve it. For me, setting goals gave me a sense of direction and purpose. It motivated me to keep moving forward, even when the journey was challenging. I learned to set both short-term and long-term goals. The short-term goals kept me focused on the present, while the long-term goals gave me something to aspire to. I also made sure to celebrate my achievements, no matter how small. Each milestone was a reminder of how far I’d come and how much I had grown.
CULTIVATING RESILIENCE:
Having the ability to bounce back from setbacks and keep moving forward is immeasurable. Let’s face it, life is full of challenges. Cultivating resilience meant developing a mindset that allowed me to navigate these challenges with grace and strength. I learned to view setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than failures. Each time I faced a challenge, I asked myself, “What can I learn from this experience? How can I use it to become stronger?” This shift in perspective helped me to stay positive and resilient, even though the challenging times.
GLOWING FROM WITHIN:
As I sit here, reflecting on my personal growth journey, I realise it’s not about reaching a final destination. It’s about the journey itself. It’s about the continuous process of evolving, learning, and growing. It’s about embracing your imperfections, celebrating your achievements, and glowing from within.
Personal growth is a lifelong journey, and it’s one that we will all embark on in our own unique way. It’s about becoming the best version of ourselves, not by striving for perfection, but by embracing our true selves. It is not just about the external changes we make, but about the internal transformation that happens along the way. It’s about the light that shines from within us, illuminating our path and inspiring others to embark on their own journeys of growth.
And once you start this journey you will meet many people along the way making similar journeys, and if you’re single you may just get lucky & meet someone who is constantly striving to be better, to reach new heights, to grow alongside you. Sure beats being with someone who’s stagnant and who’s content to remain stuck in their ways
So, here’s to the journey of personal growth, to glowing from within, and to becoming the best versions of ourselves. keep growing, keep glowing, and remember that the journey is just as important as the destination. Shine bright like the diamond you are. 💎
