In this day & age is it wrong to be a strong woman?
“Dear Woman,
Michael Reid
Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman, too smart, too beautiful, too strong. Too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will make you feel like you have to be less of a woman.
The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand You do not need a smaller crown, you need a man with bigger hands”
I don’t remember when or how many times my male friends / family members uttered these damning words to me… “You’re an attractive woman, you have a lot to offer, but Suki you’re just too strong, you intimidate men. Have you thought about toning it down, acting like you’re not so switched on so that you can attract & meet the right one?”
Cue, loud, ferocious laughter from me. What they’re essentially saying, is that I’m too much for most men & I should lie and pretend to be someone I’m not. Sorry, but quite honestly, if I wanted to date a weak man, who was a doormat, essentially a ‘yes’ man, I’d take their advice onboard, but I don’t, so I won’t.
I’m looking for someone who stands strong in his masculine energy, so strong in fact that I don’t have to tap into mine. All my life I’ve had to tap into my masculine energy, I’m tired, tired of having to be the man in the relationship, now all I want is to be happy in my feminine energy. Please don’t get it twisted, this doesn’t make me weak, in fact it just shows that no matter how strong a woman is, if she meets a man that exudes masculinity, makes he feel safe and quite frankly behaves like a real man, she’s very comfortable being herself & living in her feminine energy.
All you feminists out there, must be ready to lynch me by now “How dare she say woman are weak, women shouldn’t be masculine, and should submit to a man. Did we fight for decades to get our feminist rights for this sort of attitude?” Sorry ladies but this is total and utter nonsense, modern womanhood is complicated, and despite being strong, we don’t have to always wear the trousers. Whoever invented names like Boss B*tch should actually be lynched – we’re trying to show the world we are strong in our feminine energy not that we’re trying to be bad ass b*tches. That’s why we’re called aggressive. A small change from ‘I’m a Boss B*tch to I’m A Boss Babe” works wonders.
But it’s not just men we’re essentially pitting ourselves against, no, it’s also other women. There’s always that one woman who isn’t secure in herself and therefore instead of celebrating another woman’s success, she wants to bring her down. Because God forbid another woman does well and she gets left behind. When you’re a strong woman, who is comfortable in her skin, not only do you not let the petty mindedness of others bring you down, but you also take your tribe on the journey with you. As you rise, they rise. Be mindful of the women that only take from you. They cascade as your friend, but they’re not interested in your success, if they were, they’d do whatever they could do help you get there.
So this brings me to the age-old question ‘is it wrong to be a strong woman?’ A question that has haunted us women for generations. In a world where gender norms and societal expectations often dictate how we should behave, think, and feel, the concept of strength is both empowering and deeply controversial.
If you look out the window, at the everyday hustle and bustle that we call life, every street corner tells a story, and every passer-by is a character in our worldly existence. The image of the strong woman looms large. Who is she I hear you ask yourself? An iconic figure who defies convention, challenges the status quo, and blazes her own trail. She really doesn’t care what you think of her, she’s happy in her skin and she understands that the most important relationship she’ll ever have, is the one with herself. She’s not looking to be completed. She is complete.
So why does the very idea of female strength evoke such strong emotions and opinions? And what exactly does it mean to be a strong woman?
A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH
To some, the strong woman is the epitome of independence and resilience. Someone who refuses to be confined by traditional gender roles. She is unapologetically ambitious, self-reliant, fiercely intelligent, and unafraid to speak her mind in a world that too often seeks to silence her voice. She is a beacon of hope and inspiration for women everywhere, showing them that they too can break free from the shackles of societal expectations and carve out their own path. Please don’t confuse this with words like loud, opinionated, controlling or takes up too much space. If you’re lucky enough to meet a strong woman, you’ll know the difference – one will change your world for the better, the other will wreck it in incomprehensible ways.
NOT IMMUNE TO CRITICISM
For all her power and influence, the strong woman is not immune to criticism, backlash, or hostility from those who fear and resent her strength. In a society where we value compliance over defiance, submission over rebellion, the strong woman is often viewed with suspicion and mistrust. She’s a disruptive force that challenges the status quo, not because she wants to be heard, no, she does it because she doesn’t accept everything at face value. This often sees her labelled as aggressive, abrasive, and intimidating, a far cry from the demure, submissive ideal of femininity that we’ve come to expect.
STRENGTH COMES IN MANY FORMS
But here’s the thing, being a strong woman is not about conforming to society’s expectations or living up to some arbitrary standard of femininity. No, it’s about embracing your true, flawesome self, refusing to apologise for who you are. It’s about recognising that strength comes in many forms; You may possess a quiet strength of resilience in the face of adversity, a fierce strength of determination in pursuit of your goals, or a gentle strength of compassion and empathy in your relationships. Only you get to choose how you exhibit your strength and when.
So, is it wrong to be a strong woman? Absolutely not. In fact, I would argue that it’s not only right, but necessary for women to embrace their strength. Your strength does not come from how many KG’s you can lift and it’s not about tearing others down to lift yourself up, but rather about lifting each other up and empowering one another to reach our full potential.
In our quest for strength and empowerment, we mustn’t forget the importance of vulnerability, authenticity, and connection, this does not make us weak. True strength lies not in the ability to build walls around us and go it alone, but in the courage to open our hearts to others, to share our struggles and fears, and to lean on each other for support and guidance when we need it most.
Ladies, the next time he holds the door open, carries the shopping bags, walks on the outside of the pavement, don’t turn around and say, “I can carry my own bags, or open the door myself” He knows you can. He’s not doing it to make you feel weak, he was raised right whilst recognising and loving the strong woman that you are. He’s just showing up for you, he knows that sometimes even strong women need their hands held.
To all the strong women out there, embrace your strength, celebrate your resilience, and never apologise for being who you are. The world is a better place because of you. And to anyone who dares to question your strength or diminish your worth, I have just one thing to say: watch out, because the strong women are coming, and we’re not taking no for an answer.
