Journey through the storm. Find strength in adversity.
Someone I once loved, gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that too was a gift.”
Mary Oliver
I scare myself sometimes, with the constant questions running through my head. But of all the questions I ask myself perhaps the one that bothers me the most is why nothing in life shocks me anymore. How is it that no matter what life throws at me, I sit there calmly, working out how I can fix it? At times it feels like I’m watching a movie, with my favourite actress, only there is no actress, because the only heroine in this movie, is me.
Then I remind myself how I became me, and if I’m honest there wasn’t a chance in hell that I’d become anyone else. Life threw many things at me, it wasn’t always kind. But from a very early age I learned to internalise everything and never let others see how something affected me. Growing up I was always expected to smile on the outside, I didn’t matter if I was crying on the inside. I had a steely resolve, an energy where people automatically knew never to cross the line with me. It was my unspoken truth, so I guess I was always destined to be formidable, a woman who would always find strength in adversity, but as my life has since taught me, that doesn’t come without a price and its own challenges.
You see the thing about adversity is it’s relentless, unapologetic, and often arrives without warning. In the grand narrative of life, it will always play the role of the enemy, challenging our resolve, testing our limits, and pushing us to the brink of despair. But within our darkest moments, there lies a hidden reservoir of strength, a quiet, unyielding force that whispers of resilience, courage, and invincible spirit, teaching us how we can change our narrative to change the outcome of life.
In a world where dreams are born and shattered on a daily basis, adversity is no stranger to us. From the influencer desperate for recognition to the single parent juggling multiple jobs to make ends meet, each and every one of us has faced our own share of trials and tribulations. And yet, amidst the chaos and disharmony of life, there exists a quiet strength, a steely resolve that refuses to be broken by the weight of this adversity.
But what exactly is it that enables us to rise above the challenges that life throws our way? Is it sheer willpower, forged in hardship? Is it the support of friends and loved ones, a lifeline in times of need? Or is it something deeper, a resilience of spirit, an unwavering silent belief in our own ability to overcome anything? I believe it’s all of the above, a delicate mix of mindset, support, and inherent resilience. But while the path less travelled is often fraught with obstacles, it also paves the way for amazing growth, self-discovery, and transformation, and we all know I’m big on personal growth.
EMBRACING REALITY
Life doesn’t come with a roadmap, and adversity is often the unexpected detour that throws us off course. When faced with these moments, the first step to finding strength is to embrace the reality of the situation. Denial might offer temporary solace, but acceptance paves the way for resilience. Embracing reality isn’t about giving up; it’s about acknowledging where you are and finding the courage to navigate through it. It’s about looking in the mirror and saying, “F**k you life, do your worst. You can throw whatever you want at me, it won’t break me. I may fall, but when I get back up, I will stand taller and stronger than before”.
FINDING PERSPECTIVE
In the words of Viktor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom“. We can’t control what life throws at us, but we can control how we respond to it. Only we get to choose how we react. Some will choose to brush it under the carpet and pretend it’s not happening, while others will choose to face it head on. It’s our response to adversity amidst the suffering that really provides us the opportunity for growth. And this ultimately determines our strength and ability to overcome the obstacles.
THE BEAUTY OF VULNERABILITY
Perspective alone is not enough. It took me a long time to realise my toxic trait was not asking for help, because I became accustomed to doing everything myself, then feeling overwhelmed that no one offered to help. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for others to see I needed help. It wasn’t until my forties, I started to understand and appreciate the power of community. Yes, I was more than capable of overcoming the obstacles alone, but I didn’t want to. Fighting solo is exhausting, as is constantly putting on your game face, when sometimes all you want to do is break down & cry. In times of adversity, drawing strength from the support of your loved ones is like a breath of fresh air and you realise who will truly stand by your side through thick and thin.
TAP INTO YOUR RESERVOIR
And yet, perhaps our greatest source of strength lies within ourselves, deep in the depths of our own hearts and souls. It is here, in the quiet moments of introspection and reflection, that we discover our resilience, courage, and inner strength. Qualities that lie dormant within each and every one of us, until we go into fight or flight mode. It is here that we find the courage to face our fears, to confront our doubts, and to emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever before.
FIND YOUR INNER WARRIOR
We all have an inner warrior, that fierce, resilient part of us that refuses to be beaten down by life’s challenges. Finding that warrior within is crucial to overcoming adversity. Sometimes, it takes hitting rock bottom to realise just how strong we are. I started this blog during a particularly low point in my life, writing bought me peace. Pouring my thoughts onto paper (well typing them onto the screen) was cathartic and helped me process my emotions. Whether it’s writing, painting, running, or any other passion, tapping into what makes you feel alive can ignite the warrior spirit within you. It’s about finding that spark, that drive, that reminds you of your worth and your strength.
LEARNING AND GROWING
Every challenge we face offers a lesson. Adversity has a way of teaching us things we might never have learned otherwise. It forces us to grow, to adapt, and to become more resilient. When I look back on the toughest moments of my life, I don’t just see them as times of struggle, but as periods of profound growth. One of the most significant lessons I’ve learned is the importance of letting go. Letting go of what was, of what could have been, and embracing what is. It’s a lesson that has served me well and allowed me to move forward with strength, even when the path was unfamiliar and uncertain.
In the end, strength in adversity is not just about overcoming challenges, it’s about embracing them as opportunities for growth, transformation, and self-discovery. It’s about finding meaning in the midst of suffering, hope in the face of despair, and courage in the depths of our own hearts. And it’s about recognising that, no matter how dark it may seem, a new day will come, and with it comes a new light that illuminates your path. Life isn’t about the path we choose, it’s about how you choose to walk down it.
