This isn’t just my story. It’s yours too. Becoming Her, Becoming Me isn’t a memoir.It’s a mirror of self-reflection.
For every woman who contorted herself just to be chosen. Who wore strength like armour and smiled for the world, then turned around and cried behind closed doors. Who ticked all the boxes but still felt unfinished. Who played the part so well, she forgot it was a performance.
read moreIt starts, as these things often do, with an avalanche of adoration. The flowers, the texts, the grand declarations of how you’re unlike anyone they’ve ever met. In the space of a fortnight, he’s planned your entire future, gushed about your brilliance, and made you feel like Cleopatra, Michelle Obama and Sophia Loren all rolled into one. Welcome to the world of love bombing, where the currency is excessive affection, and the bill is always due.
read moreI’m not someone who’s unfamiliar with the dating pool, I’ve been for a swim in these murky waters many, many times. But as time goes on there’s one thing I’ve noticed; more often than not, there are so many people swimming without the right gear. I mean if you were going cold water swimming, you wouldn’t go in your bikini and no cap, would you? In the same vein just because you’re single it doesn’t mean you’re ready to date.
read moreThey say losing a parent changes you forever. They also say time heals all wounds. What they fail to mention is that grief isn’t linear, it’s an unpredictable mess of emotions. Like a tornado, utterly devastating. One moment, you’re standing in the calm before the storm, convinced you can weather it. The next, you’re being lifted off your feet, and dropped into a reality where everything you once knew is shattered & drenched in sorrow.
read moreIsn’t it funny how we often think that breakups are just about heartbreak, like all you have to do is cry your eyes out, binge-watch romcoms and drink yourself to stupor until you feel vaguely human again. But the truth is, breakups are rarely that neat. They’re emotional earthquakes that shake our lives to their very core. When a relationship ends, you lose a lot more than the person you were with. You shed tears, yes, but you also shed pieces of yourself.
read more“You’re not yourself when you’re triggered. You become who you think you need to be to survive.” You can tell a lot about someone by the way they pack for a holiday. Some people neatly sort everything into labelled pouches. Others stuff things in haphazardly, overpacking. But then there are the secret hoarders, that carry things they don’t even realise they’ve packed & i don’t mean bikinis, i’m talking about emotional baggage.
read more“You can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you keep re-reading the last one. It’s time to turn the page.” Unknown. Hope, That little four-letter word with grand aspirations. The thing that keeps us going when all seems lost. The invisible force that tugs us forward when everything else seems to fall apart. It’s that quiet whisper that says, “maybe, just maybe, it’ll all work out”. But here’s the thing, hope isn’t always the sweet promise it appears to be.
read more“Sometimes, the space we create by taking a break is filled not with clarity, but with the deafening silence of unresolved feelings.” Unknown. It’s not been that long since we last spoke, since we agreed that we’d take some time out to contemplate whether our relationship, that started off with so much promise, had a future. Where we uttered those four small, yet poignant words “Let’s take a break”.
read moreThere was a time when love was a handwritten letter sealed with a kiss, when the scent of perfume lingered on a piece of parchment, and the anticipation of your lover’s next move was as intoxicating as the scent of jasmine on a summer’s night. Today, we swipe, we scroll, and we double-tap our way through potential partners, hoping that behind each pixelated profile lies a heart as true as the words penned by Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth Bennet.
read moreIt takes between 18 and 254 days to break a habit, crazy right? But what can we do, we’re creatures of habit, repeating our actions, thoughts, and even emotions until they form a rhythm, a beat we dance to every day without a second thought. But what happens when that rhythm starts to suffocate us? Can we ever break free from the habits that define us or are we doomed to repeat them, over and over in some twisted version of groundhog day?
read moreIf I had a penny for every time I heard the words “you’re one of the strongest women I know” I’d not only be strong, I’d also be rich, very rich. And who can blame them? They’re not wrong, I am one of the strongest women they know. Not because I chose to be, but because I had to be. My whole life I’ve been the ‘older sister’ ‘the eldest child’ ‘the planner’ & ‘the one that will sort it out’. Did I ask for any of this? No, but is it who I am? Yes.
read moreYou know the drill. Boy meets girl, the sparks fly, the fun, banter and chemistry is free flowing, the air is filled with excitement, and the possibilities seem endless He plans dates, he never tires of telling you how lucky he is to have met you and how amazing you are. He struggles to keep his hands off you and always notices the small things like when you change your nail colour or cut your hair, then all of a sudden out of nowhere, it stops.
read moreFew things are lonelier than not being seen. That sinking feeling when you’re standing in a room full of people, yet you might as well be invisible. It’s a silent scream, a desire for attention, and recognition from the ones we love.
There’s a true art to being seen without explicitly asking for it, where we dance between self-worth, love, and visibility.
read more“When I asked for a smoking hot body, menopause wasn’t quite what I had in mind.” Unknown
I always thought menopause was something that happened to other women, women who were ready for it, women who were expecting it. But like an uninvited guest, it arrived early, like a tornado that just rips through your life. All with the subtlety of a high speed train.
read moreIn this bustling city, where the air is filled with the hum of taxis, the chatter of the crowds, and the ever-present promise of romance lingering in the air like an evocative perfume, we’ve become accustomed to the monotony of swiping left and right. A warm welcome to the modern dating scene, where swiping, multi dating, instant gratification, unrealistic expectations and over inflated egos has become as common as sipping on a g&t.
read moreOver the last few years, I’ve been on a different kind of journey, one that turned out to be one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life. The currency used here isn’t money, instead you trade old habits, inhibitions, and patterns of behaviour, a unknown place that you don’t plan to go but the plane makes an emergency stop. A place where you have to be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and embrace a true journey of discovery.
read more“You cannot beat a river into submission. You have to surrender to its current and use its power as your own” The Ancient One, Dr Strange. Now I don’t know about you, but I love to dance, The Argentinian Tango, Paso Doble, Even a good old-fashioned foxtrot. But there’s one tune I cannot dance to and that’s Submission. I vehemently detest the word and no matter what anyone says, I will never change my mind..
read moreIn a world that’s always on, always connected, distraction is the norm and genuine connection is rare. It’s easy to get lost in this sea of distraction and feel overwhelmed and disconnected I’ve found myself yearning for silence, something quieter but infinitely more powerful; a higher frequency; a place where I can tune out the noise and tap into a deeper, more meaningful connection with myself, with others, and with the universe.
read moreSomeone I once loved, gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that too was a gift.” Mary Oliver. Adversity is relentless, unapologetic, and often arrives without warning. In the grand narrative of life, it will always be the enemy, challenging our resolve, testing our limits, and pushing us to the brink of despair. But within our darkest moments, there’s lies a hidden strength, a quiet, unyielding force that whispers of resilience.
read more“Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman.Too smart, too beautiful, too strong, too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will make you feel like you have to be less of a woman. The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand You do not need a smaller crown, you need a man with bigger hands” Michael Reid
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