I’m not someone who’s unfamiliar with the dating pool, I’ve been for a swim in these murky waters many, many times. But as time goes on there’s one thing I’ve noticed; more often than not, there are so many people swimming without the right gear. I mean if you were going cold water swimming, you wouldn’t go in your bikini and no cap, would you? In the same vein just because you’re single it doesn’t mean you’re ready to date.
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They say losing a parent changes you forever. They also say time heals all wounds. What they fail to mention is that grief isn’t linear, it’s an unpredictable mess of emotions. Like a tornado, utterly devastating. One moment, you’re standing in the calm before the storm, convinced you can weather it. The next, you’re being lifted off your feet, and dropped into a reality where everything you once knew is shattered & drenched in sorrow.
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“You can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you keep re-reading the last one. It’s time to turn the page.” Unknown. Hope, That little four-letter word with grand aspirations. The thing that keeps us going when all seems lost. The invisible force that tugs us forward when everything else seems to fall apart. It’s that quiet whisper that says, “maybe, just maybe, it’ll all work out”. But here’s the thing, hope isn’t always the sweet promise it appears to be.
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If I had a penny for every time I heard the words “you’re one of the strongest women I know” I’d not only be strong, I’d also be rich, very rich. And who can blame them? They’re not wrong, I am one of the strongest women they know. Not because I chose to be, but because I had to be. My whole life I’ve been the ‘older sister’ ‘the eldest child’ ‘the planner’ & ‘the one that will sort it out’. Did I ask for any of this? No, but is it who I am? Yes.
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Over the last few years, I’ve been on a different kind of journey, one that turned out to be one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life. The currency used here isn’t money, instead you trade old habits, inhibitions, and patterns of behaviour, a unknown place that you don’t plan to go but the plane makes an emergency stop. A place where you have to be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and embrace a true journey of discovery.
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In a world that’s always on, always connected, distraction is the norm and genuine connection is rare. It’s easy to get lost in this sea of distraction and feel overwhelmed and disconnected I’ve found myself yearning for silence, something quieter but infinitely more powerful; a higher frequency; a place where I can tune out the noise and tap into a deeper, more meaningful connection with myself, with others, and with the universe.
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Someone I once loved, gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that too was a gift.” Mary Oliver. Adversity is relentless, unapologetic, and often arrives without warning. In the grand narrative of life, it will always be the enemy, challenging our resolve, testing our limits, and pushing us to the brink of despair. But within our darkest moments, there’s lies a hidden strength, a quiet, unyielding force that whispers of resilience.
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“Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman.Too smart, too beautiful, too strong, too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will make you feel like you have to be less of a woman. The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand You do not need a smaller crown, you need a man with bigger hands” Michael Reid
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In the hustle and bustle of life, we often find ourselves caught up in the narratives we’ve inherited or the stories we’ve fallen into. But only a few will stop, hit pause, grab a pen, and rewrite their life story. Fear of the unknown often paralyses us, but as Gandhi famously said we must be the change we want to see and unless we’re brave enough to travel to an unfamiliar place, we’ll never be able to reframe our minds and change the course of our lives.
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“My mother once told me – When you hold a man’s hand and he makes your heart beat faster, making you feel all giddy and excited, walk away. He’s not the man for you. If you hold a man’s hand and he makes you feel warm, safe, and secure – hold onto him. This is the man you should marry.” I hear these voices in my head, telling me time and time again to walk away. Yet here I am looking at myself standing still, unable to move.
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“Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.” Unknown
As someone who has spent many nights alone, I know the feeling of loneliness all too well. But with time I’ve also come to understand that being alone doesn’t automatically equate to being lonely. In fact, there are times when I love nothing more than spending time with myself.
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“By trying to please everybody, nice guys often end up pleasing nobody – including themselves.” Robert A Glover
When I was younger, I was always attracted to a bad boy, there was just something about him that I couldn’t resist. That fantastic swagger, the way he dressed, the cockiness it was all too much, I just couldn’t say no. I’d like to say that I’ve changed, but that’s not 100% true.
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In the words of the very wise Maya Angelou “When someone shows you are they are, believe them the first time’.
Men are straightforward creatures. If they want something badly enough, they’ll be sure to let you know. Women on the other hand hold on for dear life to the smallest glimmer of hope, which is inherently why we get played. We let things slide …
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“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.” Unknown
Each year when the clock strikes midnight we make all these silly resolutions. And if we’re honest, we’re never going to keep. But why do we feel the need to start the new year with promises to improve? Who started this never-ending tradition of self-imposed pressure?
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We’ve heard it a million times, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Put bluntly we don’t talk the same language and we’re not turned on by the same things. It’s said men are visual beings while women emotional. This would explain why men need to be physical with a woman to feel emotions. Women on the on the other hand need to feel emotions before she can become physical with a man.
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Can we be honest with ourselves? In life we will encounter many failed relationships. You know the ones I mean? The ones that never quite hit the spot, yet you stayed, a little longer than you intended. Hoping that one day it would change and magically transform into everything you ever wanted, only it never did. At the time you can’t understand why it didn’t work but there’s a really simple reason.
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There are two ways of spreading light; To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
Have you ever come across someone whose sheer presence brings calm? You don’t know them but there’s just something about them. You feel like it’s all going to be ok and you are so lucky to have met them, it changes your very being.
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We were getting along so well, yet you didn’t think twice about pulling away. When I asked you what changed? You told me that I deserved better, and you couldn’t give me what I want. What a load of crap, of course you could, but you chose not to. You were too coward to admit that you didn’t want to, so instead you left me no choice but to walk away and as I walked away so did a little part of my faith and hope.
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You never quite forget the moment you think it’s all over. The moment you wish you hadn’t fallen out with those you love; Said the things you had to someone you care about.
Anger makes you say some silly things. But at that moment you hope beyond hope that those you are about to leave behind will forget the harsh words you whispered, and will remember you with the true love you had for them.
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“I just love her energy. Doesn’t she have a great vibe? She doesn’t take any sh*t. She’s always in control of her life’. She’s got such a good heart. Why is she still single?”
Words I hear often and here’s the thing I am all those things and more but there are days I’m also all those things and less. Yes, I’m kind; caring; considerate; smart; easy on the eye (if you believe what they say).
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