You’re hot. He’s bothered. Hello Green-eyed monster.
“They say that being jealous is an act of love. I say that if you love and care for that person you should also learn to trust.”
Anonymous
You noticed her the second she walked in. There was something about her that you were inexplicably drawn to. Maybe it’s the confidence with which she strode past you, commanding your attention; Or the cheeky glint in her eye, you know she’s trouble. She’s dressed to kill, everything about her is screaming ‘Come and get me if you’re brave enough’.
Your friend has now spotted her too, he starts to smile “hands off I saw her first” And just like that you find yourself walking over. You’ve no idea what you are going to say to her you just know the need to talk to her is just too strong.
“Hi, I hope I’m not intruding but I saw you walk in, and I’ve been standing over there not able to take my eyes off you since”
You give him the once over, liking what you see. You reply with one of your favourite lines from The Bodyguard “Why don’t you go back there & keep watching”
His face breaks out into the cheekiest of smiles “reciting the lines from The Bodyguard now are we? nice.”
You instantly know you’re going to get along. You spend the rest of the night talking, you don’t know where the time goes, but you know whoever this man is, you like what he’s about and you also know that you will do whatever you can to keep his attention and make him stick around for a while.
The next few weeks are like a whirlwind, you spend every waking moment with one another, when you’re not texting, you’re talking on the phone, when you’re not talking on the phone, you’re together. You can’t even remember what your world was like without this person. How could this perfect specimen of a man have alluded you for so long?
The weeks, turn into months, everything is just so God damn perfect and then you start to see little signs that all is not as it seems. He doesn’t like the company you keep, especially the male friends, they pose a threat to him, but he doesn’t want to tell you that. Instead he starts to fill your head with doubts, maybe you’re not seeing the male friends in your life for what they are – men. Men that ultimately would be with you if you gave them the choice, so you start seeing them less. Maybe he’s right (for the record I don’t believe this for a second with any of my male friends).
For the next few months life is once again great, he’s showering you with love & affection, you come home that evening, having bumped into an old friend, you tell him that you’re going to meet said female friend for drinks in a few days’ time, his face drops, through gritted teeth he says “sounds great darling, you need to go out more”.
The evening of your night out comes round and you’re so excited to be going out in the real world again, with real people, someone who isn’t him. You get ready and come downstairs, instead of telling you how beautiful you look and how he can’t take his eyes off you like he once did. he asks
HIM: “Where are you going dressed like that?”
ME: “Dressed like what?” in my opinion I’m appropriately dressed for drinks with a friend, but he’s making out that I’m dressed like I’m going out on the town, ready to pull the first available man. I leave somewhat perturbed, the texts slowing start trickling in.
HIM: “Hey darling, what time will you be home? I’ll get dinner ready.”
ME: “I don’t know honey, I only just got here, you eat without me, we’ll probably grab something here.”
HIM: “Oh ok, I thought we could eat together?”
ME: “Sorry honey”. Half an hour passes, we’ve only just got a round of drinks in and my phone pings.
HIM: “I miss you darling, please come home quickly”
ME: ‘x’ 10 minutes later, another ping
HIM: “So that’s how it’s going to be? You’re going to ignore me all night, because you’ve found a new friend!”
ME: “Darling, you’re embarrassing me, please stop texting me, My friend thinks that I’m with a man that doesn’t trust me”.
HIM: “Well you said that you’re with so & so but how do I know who you’re really with, send me a picture. For all i know you could be out with your fancy man.”
ME: “Go and make yourself something to eat, I will see you when I get home.”
The next hour passes peacefully without a message, only now I can’t relax – I’m on edge and my night is ruined. I’m angry at myself for letting him affect my night and he’s going to get a piece of my mind when I get home. I make my excuses and leave, when I get home, he’s asleep on the sofa, looking all angelic, like butter wouldn’t melt. I on the other hand am seething and want to punch his lights out.
He stirs “darling you’re home, I missed you, come over here”. I walk over with every intention to have it out with him, yet somehow I find myself lying in his arms on the sofa – all is forgotten. The next few months pass without incident… well until we’re walking down the street one day.
HIM: “I saw that”
ME: “Saw what?”
HIM: “The way you just looked at him”
ME: “What are you talking about? I have absolutely no idea who or what you are taking about”
HIM: “Yeah right. Can’t even keep your f**king eyes to yourself when we’re together, God knows what you’re like when we’re not together.”
I give up. I know talking to him right now is futile, I also know that it won’t matter what I say, he’s already made his mind up. You see the thing about the green-eyed monster is it has no control over when it strikes, but know this, the very things that attracted him to you are the things he’ll try & change about you.
The man that once adored how confident you were, now sees that as a threat. But instead of facing his own securities he’ll try and knock you down a peg or two so that you lose your self-confidence. Once the man that loved that he was with a woman that others desired will eventually become the man that doesn’t want anyone to look at his prized possession. He’s the same man that loved the way you dressed, now he wants you to tone it down unless you are solely with him.
Before you know it you won’t recognise the woman you have become. It took bumping into an old friend who knew the old me to ask me “what happened to you? Where is the Suki I knew & loved? The one that would light up a room with her energy when she walked in? She’s not the same Suki standing in front of me. I don’t recognise this shy, retiring girl that is quietly hoping no one will look at her”.
Please don’t think this only happens to weak minded women, it can happen to anyone. The Green-Eyed Monster is smart, this is not his first rodeo. His every move is calculated. You are simply one in a long line of women he has expertly manipulated; you won’t be the first and you certainly won’t be the last. You just have to learn to read the signs and know when to walk away before it changes you beyond recognition.
Five signs that you’re secretly dating the Green-Eyed Monster:
- He’s only happy in a bubble… of two… Life as you know it has officially ended. Not only does he want to be the sole focus of your life, but he also only wants you to socialise and rely on him. Don’t dream of making your own friends – you are not allowed to make any friends outside of the two of you.
- He wants to be in control. He wants access to all your personal accounts, including social media. He’s given you access so he thinks it’s only fair you give him access. He always checks in, cute right? No. He’s so insecure that he needs to know what you are up to at all times He’s the key decision maker. Yes, he may let you believe that something was your idea, but he is super smart & he’ll never do something he doesn’t want to.
- He hates it when others compliment you. Yes, he knows he’s onto a good thing but he also wants you to be his and only his, it won’t matter if the compliment is from a man or woman, you are his and he is the only one who has the right to pay you a compliment.
- He wants you to show the world that you are together. Most men shy away from PDA’s, but not him, he needs to make sure everyone knows you belong to him, just in case someone else thinks they can take you.
- And finally, he’s always joking about you cheating on him, only it’s not a joke. He’s testing your reaction to see if you really could be cheating on him, and whether you have any plans to leave him.
If you’re unlucky enough to meet a Green-Eyed Monster, please don’t let them sweep you off your feet, yes, I know the attention is intoxicating, but you will surely regret it. No amount of attention is worth the turmoil this man will put you through.
Very well written/ I can literally imagine the scenarios. The Lion😉