While his value appreciates, yours depreciates. What?
“Men age like wine. Women age like milk.”
Some unknown idiotic male
As a woman that is surrounded by women who are most definitely fine wines, not curdled milk, this expression is quite possibly the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. And between you and me I’ve heard some pretty stupid things.
Sometimes I find myself engaging in the most ridiculous of conversations because I think they’d make great fodder for my blog. Which brings me nicely onto a conversation I had recently, with a much younger gentlemen that thought he could charm his way into my pants.
If studies and research are to be believed a man’s desirability peaks around forty or fifty. Women on the other hand are seen to be at their most desirable between sixteen and twenty-five, thirty if you’re lucky. If this is true, then why do so many younger guys hit on older women??? The party-political line is we’re not hard work. The crude answer to the above is apparently they think we’re easier as we appear more desperate than our younger counterparts. Ha, what a joke. We’re not easy and we’re certainly not desperate. Society really should stop painting this sorry picture.
In truth it’s not until we hit our forties that we find ourselves and become completely comfortable in the skin we inhabit. This is when we adopt the zero fucks given way of life. We lose the dreaded insecurities of our twenties and start to exude self confidence in bucket loads. And we all know self-confidence is super attractive.
In my humble opinion the idea that men only want to be with younger women is merely a ruse to frighten us. We’re supposed to feel grateful for the attention being bestowed on us, because as our value depreciates in a few years the attention could also evaporate – what a foolish notion. You see we’re still living in an archaic world that believes a woman’s prospects not only diminish with age but the smarter she is the less desirable she is. Gosh, if this is true, I will surely end up a lonely old spinster. Lonely I am not; Old well at 49 this is relative; A spinster, yes, I guess I am.
As I approach my fifties, do I think the quantity of men trying to court me has lessened? God no. I however am more discerning in who I share my time and energy with. Where does this leave me? With a pool of men that place more value on what someone brings to the table over the sheer fact they’ll make great arm candy. I fully understand this doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about what the female looks like, of course he does. Attraction is still very important, but as we’re at a rare time in life where we’re all doing what we can to ‘stay young’ this feels like a non-issue. This places the focus on a different type of attraction – both mental and emotional.
I recently went on a date with a man who hit my emotional and mental attraction buttons in abundance. Was he young? At heart yes, in age no. But what was so refreshing about him was he knew what he wanted, there was no game playing and intelligence was a turn on for him. It would seem that instead of being less desirable because of my age and intelligence he actually found me to be even more attractive because of it.
So, here’s the thing. On paper someone may turn down a woman because of her age, but men are also very visual beings, if she doesn’t look it, it’s highly likely he’ll give her a chance. Unless of course he’s some conceited, rich twat that wants to be seen with the latest toy and prove that he can still pull a young woman.
Sorry Sugar Daddy here’s a newsflash for you. She’s not interested in your age, appearance or your scintillating conversation, all she cares about is your bank balance and the lifestyle you can provide. If you are happy to pay for someone’s affection then be my guest, I believe that’s also known as prostitution. I’m not interested in being controlled by you, nor does your money impress me.
Thanks to you, my value just shot right up, because for every man going through a mid-life crisis, there’s another that looks at how sad your life is and wants a woman of equal standing. A woman that looks at him like he truly is the most amazing man on this planet. A non judgemental woman that will love and support him and his dreams. He understands that when two people have a shared vision their value accelerates.
And if you are still not convinced let me remind you of some fine wines:
Angelina Jolie and Aishwarya Rai Bachchan – arguably two of the most beautiful women in this world – both in their forties.
Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, Madhuri Dixit Nene and Sofia Vergara –three stunning women in their own right – All in their fifties.
Angela Bassett – Does this woman ever age? – In her sixties.
Helen Mirren – Exudes beauty and self-confidence – in her seventies
Need I go on? No, I don’t think so. I think this is where I say mic drop 😉
A shallow being gives the same emotion.
A deep man/ women has the unravelling of the mind, beauty/ money can be seen the mind,Nope.
Excellent blog, loves it.