I’m not someone who’s unfamiliar with the dating pool, I’ve been for a swim in these murky waters many, many times. But as time goes on there’s one thing I’ve noticed; more often than not, there are so many people swimming without the right gear. I mean if you were going cold water swimming, you wouldn’t go in your bikini and no cap, would you? In the same vein just because you’re single it doesn’t mean you’re ready to date.
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Isn’t it funny how we often think that breakups are just about heartbreak, like all you have to do is cry your eyes out, binge-watch romcoms and drink yourself to stupor until you feel vaguely human again. But the truth is, breakups are rarely that neat. They’re emotional earthquakes that shake our lives to their very core. When a relationship ends, you lose a lot more than the person you were with. You shed tears, yes, but you also shed pieces of yourself.
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“You’re not yourself when you’re triggered. You become who you think you need to be to survive.” You can tell a lot about someone by the way they pack for a holiday. Some people neatly sort everything into labelled pouches. Others stuff things in haphazardly, overpacking. But then there are the secret hoarders, that carry things they don’t even realise they’ve packed & i don’t mean bikinis, i’m talking about emotional baggage.
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“You can’t start the next chapter of your life, if you keep re-reading the last one. It’s time to turn the page.” Unknown. Hope, That little four-letter word with grand aspirations. The thing that keeps us going when all seems lost. The invisible force that tugs us forward when everything else seems to fall apart. It’s that quiet whisper that says, “maybe, just maybe, it’ll all work out”. But here’s the thing, hope isn’t always the sweet promise it appears to be.
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Few things are lonelier than not being seen. That sinking feeling when you’re standing in a room full of people, yet you might as well be invisible. It’s a silent scream, a desire for attention, and recognition from the ones we love.
There’s a true art to being seen without explicitly asking for it, where we dance between self-worth, love, and visibility.
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“When I asked for a smoking hot body, menopause wasn’t quite what I had in mind.” Unknown
I always thought menopause was something that happened to other women, women who were ready for it, women who were expecting it. But like an uninvited guest, it arrived early, like a tornado that just rips through your life. All with the subtlety of a high speed train.
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Over the last few years, I’ve been on a different kind of journey, one that turned out to be one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life. The currency used here isn’t money, instead you trade old habits, inhibitions, and patterns of behaviour, a unknown place that you don’t plan to go but the plane makes an emergency stop. A place where you have to be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and embrace a true journey of discovery.
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In a world that’s always on, always connected, distraction is the norm and genuine connection is rare. It’s easy to get lost in this sea of distraction and feel overwhelmed and disconnected I’ve found myself yearning for silence, something quieter but infinitely more powerful; a higher frequency; a place where I can tune out the noise and tap into a deeper, more meaningful connection with myself, with others, and with the universe.
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Someone I once loved, gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that too was a gift.” Mary Oliver. Adversity is relentless, unapologetic, and often arrives without warning. In the grand narrative of life, it will always be the enemy, challenging our resolve, testing our limits, and pushing us to the brink of despair. But within our darkest moments, there’s lies a hidden strength, a quiet, unyielding force that whispers of resilience.
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“Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman.Too smart, too beautiful, too strong, too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will make you feel like you have to be less of a woman. The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand You do not need a smaller crown, you need a man with bigger hands” Michael Reid
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In the hustle and bustle of life, we often find ourselves caught up in the narratives we’ve inherited or the stories we’ve fallen into. But only a few will stop, hit pause, grab a pen, and rewrite their life story. Fear of the unknown often paralyses us, but as Gandhi famously said we must be the change we want to see and unless we’re brave enough to travel to an unfamiliar place, we’ll never be able to reframe our minds and change the course of our lives.
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Aaaah love, that one thing we’re all searching for, even when we tell ourselves we’re not. That inexplicable thing that makes us crazy things and keeps us coming back for more. It all starts with lust, the first thing we see is their physical beauty, their smile, their eyes, maybe their physique. It’s not until our hearts and minds kick in, do we see the person for who they really are. But what good are eyes if our hearts and minds can’t see clearly?
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“When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear’ what she actually means is, there is nothing here for who I am supposed to be today.” Caitlin Moran. As I’m sitting here with my writer’s hat on (one of many that I wear throughout the day), I’m plagued by thoughts of the numerous roles the modern-day woman plays. All the while trying to be the best versions of ourselves. Me… Daughter, sister, aunt, friend, coach, writer, cook, provider and finally me.
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“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.” Paulo Coehlo While channel flicking, I recently came across a programme, exploring the beauty of Polygamy. The Monogamist in me watched on, mortified at these couples’ swapping partners without a care in the world. I should have
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“Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.” Unknown
As someone who has spent many nights alone, I know the feeling of loneliness all too well. But with time I’ve also come to understand that being alone doesn’t automatically equate to being lonely. In fact, there are times when I love nothing more than spending time with myself.
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“Some people don’t love you; they don’t even care about you. They just want to stay connected to you. They love the benefits. So, they do the minimal. A little phone call here and there, just checking on you. What they are really doing is maintaining the connection, so when they need / want you, they still have a way in.”
Unknown
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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Annie Lamott
Care… A simple and universally understood word, once upon a time associated with looking after others. Now widely recognised by both men and woman about something we should do for ourselves. In today’s fast-paced world, we’ve become so caught up in the chaos …
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“Everybody knows the pressure of a first date: Searching for that perfect outfit. Hunting for ways to be engaging. Dissecting each detail when it’s over to check for mistakes. Dating can make even the most confident person lose their cool.” Kelly Starling
If they handed out awards for going on the most first dates, I reckon I’d be in with a fighting chance of winning.
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In the words of the very wise Maya Angelou “When someone shows you are they are, believe them the first time’.
Men are straightforward creatures. If they want something badly enough, they’ll be sure to let you know. Women on the other hand hold on for dear life to the smallest glimmer of hope, which is inherently why we get played. We let things slide …
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“You are not a man until you give your love, truly & freely to a child. And you are not a good man until you earn the love, truly & freely, of a child in return.” Gregory David Roberts
It’s hard to understand love if you’ve never experienced it, and I’m not just talking about the love between two adults in a committed relationship, No, I’m talking about the kind of love that teaches you what real love is.
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