todaysheis.me

That’s right. Zero F**ks given.

” If you ever want to know the truth about something, just ask a woman over 40. When a woman turns 40, her very last f *ck flies right out of the window.”

The older I get, the less I care about what people think of me. Therefore, the older I get, the more enjoy my life. It’s really quite liberating not to give an actual f**k what others think.

8 Min Reading

Yep. It’s exactly what you think it is.

Always trust your gut. Your brain can be fooled, and your heart is an idiot (sometimes), but your gut doesn’t know how to lie.

There are few times in life I’ve been wrong about a person, but the times I have are when I’ve ignored what my gut was telling me… you know, that niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach that you can’t quite identify, so you choose to ignore it.

8 Min Reading

Unrequited love or misguided infatuation?

It’s been almost a decade since I first clapped eyes on you, yet I still remember it like it was yesterday, every last detail…

The way you looked in front of that Tequila lit bar: The way i felt when our eyes met. I tried so hard to tear my gaze away, but I just couldn’t. You captivated me. There was just something about you; you made me feel something I hadn’t in a very long time; something that resembled… hope, excitement & promise all rolled into one.

You were everything I’d hoped you’d be. A real-life manifestation of everything I looked for.

6 Min Reading

Take note, we are what we tolerate.

Feels like a strange thing to say, because it makes it seem like everything that happens to us is somehow our own fault. So let me be clear what I’m not saying is we reap what we sow.

Tolerance however is a strange notion, so familiar yet so alien. We go through our whole lives tolerating things it just becomes the norm. So much so that we stop seeing it as something we tolerate & just accept it as a way of life.

But we must be careful what we tolerate as we’re teaching people how to treat us.

6 Min Reading

Behold the Queen of Overthinking.

Yet another night passes, while i just lay there, willing sleep to come. I’m so tired yet my mind is performing its usual acrobatics. I just want to scream at those tiny voices in my head ‘for the love of god, enough already, will you just be quiet’ but as usual they continue on their own merry little journey, without giving me a second’s thought.

I pride myself on being an accomplished woman. There are so many things I do particularly well in my life, overthinking however is one of my specialities.

7 Min Reading

Being a mother is about more than giving birth.

I loved you, even before I met you and the moment I laid eyes on you I knew I would love and protect you til my dying days. I know I didn’t give birth to you, so biologically you are not mine, but none of that matters, because I promise you no matter where I am, what I’m doing, whenever you need me, I will be there for you. That’s my unspoken promise to you.

Who says that you must give birth to a child to be their mother? What about those women that step up every day and do what any good mum should?

7 Min Reading

Be with the one you love or the one that loves you?

‘Be with a man who loves you more than you love them’. A common piece of advice given in early adult life. At the time I thought this was the most ludicrous thing I’d ever heard; I mean who in their right mind would want to be with someone they didn’t love as much as the other loved them? Looking back however, I now understand exactly what it means.

We’ve all been there… In a relationship with someone who we know doesn’t tick all our boxes or get our pulse racing, but we stay, for longer than we intended, feeling unfulfilled.

5 Min Reading

I miss you, but I don’t know if I want you back.

It’s hard to pinpoint when I lost the old me – the woman who fell in love with abandonment, the eternal optimist who believed everything would work out and the hopeless romantic I once was. Yes, I still see flashes of that person, but not nearly often enough. Like many, life has hardened me, and I’ve become jaded.

But there are times I miss the old me, silly but innocent. Sometimes I just want to press reset, but life doesn’t come with a remote or buttons. Sometimes I want back the foolishly impulsive me, her heart was pure and free from hurt.

5 Min Reading

When the clock strikes midnight…

Yes, it’s that time of year again, when the clock strikes midnight, we sit there thinking about all the things we said we’d do in 2021 but never did.

But unlike every year that has passed, this year I’ve resolved not to make any resolutions. Yes, I still want to look like Gal Gadot, drink less, move more and find Mr Right, but instead of resolutions I’m going to make myself promises.

Promises that start with a cleanse. A cleanse that is as good for our soul as it is our physical being.

6 Min Reading

He never hit me, yet he hurt me every day.

Let’s be honest we’ve all been there. We thought we’d met someone warm, caring and. understanding. Someone we could see a future with, but slowly started seeing flashes of behaviour that didn’t quite fit with the person we thought they were. So, we brushed it off, thinking we were imagining it. Before we knew it, we were celebrating our one-year anniversary. Yes, we’re still together but those flashes have now become a way of life.

Congratulations you’re officially in a toxic relationship, and you know your abuser well.

10 Min Reading

Tis the season to be silly. Fa la la la la.

It’s fast approaching that time of year when we throw caution to the wind and party like it 1999. But we also know tis also the season of morning after regrets.

We’ve all been there. One minute you’re that classy woman; a picture of elegance and decorum – a flute of bubbles in one hand and nibbles in the other, charmingly working the room. But as the evening progresses you turn into the fun, uninhibited version of you. Now, you’ve had one too many glasses of bubbles, your decision-making skills are a little hazy, all etiquette straight out the window.

8 Min Reading

His ex is no threat to you. You’re the real threat.

There are two types of people in this world. Those that can stay friends with their exes and those that need a clean slate and choose to walk away. I am firmly in the first camp.

There are many reasons our relationships fail; me I like to cut my losses and walk away if I don’t feel like it’s going anywhere. That is no reflection on my ex and doesn’t make him a bad person. It just means I didn’t feel they were right for me as a life partner, but they were great people, so we were just better as friends.

9 Min Reading

I’m a strong woman because I was raised by one.

“You hate when people see you cry because you want to be that strong girl. But then you hate how nobody sees how broken and torn you are.” Farah Asif Khan.

I was lucky, I was raised by one of the strongest women I will ever be blessed to know – my grandmother. Widowed young, mother of four, grandmother to ten (well fourteen, but that’s another story), who she raised with grace, ease, and pride.

7 Min Reading

What happened to dating the old-fashioned way?

Let’s be honest, falling in love in today’s world Is tough. Gone are the days when you locked eyes with that devilishly handsome stranger across the bar; or on your daily commute; or shock, horror, gasp while you were walking down the street. if someone stopped you in the street now, you’d think you were either about to get mugged, or you’d need to get a restraining order against them.

7 Min Reading

There are no bad dates, only great brunch stories.

What is the point of bad dates if not to have amusing anecdotes to share with your friends? Gabrielle Zevin.

The other day I was talking to a guy I was once seeing, my Mr Falls Too Fast, about his dating experiences pre and post me. Our conversation sounded something similar to the Top Trumps of dating experiences.

8 Min Reading

F.E.A.R. Face Everything & Run or Face Everything & Rise.

“Denying fear never fixes it, accepting it turns it into fuel”. Uncertainty Experts

Growing up, I was the eldest of six. Failure was never an option and talking about your emotions not the norm. Who knew this would not only stay with me throughout my career but affect every other aspect of my life?

What I quickly learnt was denying your fears doesn’t solve anything, it only holds you back.

7 Min Reading

The most painful goodbyes are felt in our hearts before our ears hear the words.

“I knew I had to leave, I was tired of feeling empty and forcing sleep to escape the pain of feeling unloved and unworthy. I was giving too much of myself and not receiving enough. I was depriving myself of happiness and not smiling enough. I was floating along with feelings but had to jump off with pride. Moving on for the better, ready for something better.” Tene Edwards, Walk with Wings.

5 Min Reading

Dear Mr Right, whoever & wherever you are, I know you’ll come when it’s right.

“People say you don’t exist. Yes, I agree no one is perfect but people can be right with all their imperfections and flaws, can’t they? So, you must know that I do believe in you. I do believe somewhere out there you do exist”. Ankita Singhal

Some may say I am a commitment-phobe. Me, I like to think of myself as more of a ‘won’t settle for anything less than she wants’ kinda girl and until I find Mr Right I’ll just carry on with life, trying the relationships on for size.

8 Min Reading

Hello younger self, it’s good to see you again. Why don’t we have a little chat?

“Failure is fantastic, because you meet yourself and get to know your limitations. This is how I express myself, and I can’t do it any other way.” Billy Childish.

I often ask myself if I could have a do over what would I change? The simple answer is very little. Because my journey, the twists and turns I took made me the woman I am today. And let me tell you, she’s pretty awesome.

Having said that if I ever met my younger self, these are the things I’d want her to know.

5 Min Reading

It’s not you, it’s me. Where have I heard that before?

“If you push me away, I promise you, you won’t find me where you left me. My heart’s big, but not big enough to deal with people who decide to love me when it’s convenient. The Modern Break Up.

Let’s imagine a very common scenario. Boy meets girl, there’s an instant attraction, you’re getting along really well, you have a great connection, you talk long into the night about anything & everything, get each other’s sense of humour & then out of the blue you hear those familiar words.

5 Min Reading

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todaysheis.me

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That’s right. Zero F**ks given.

Yep. It’s exactly what you think it is.

Unrequited love or misguided infatuation?

Take note, we are what we tolerate.

Behold the Queen of Overthinking.

Being a mother is about more than giving birth.

Be with the one you love or the one that loves you?

I miss you, but I don’t know if I want you back.

When the clock strikes midnight…

He never hit me, yet he hurt me every day.

Tis the season to be silly. Fa la la la la.

His ex is no threat to you. You’re the real threat.

I’m a strong woman because I was raised by one.

There are no bad dates, only great brunch stories.

F.E.A.R. Face Everything & Run or Face Everything & Rise.

The most painful goodbyes are felt in our hearts before our ears hear the words.

Dear Mr Right, whoever & wherever you are, I know you’ll come when it’s right.

Hello younger self, it’s good to see you again. Why don’t we have a little chat?

It’s not you, it’s me. Where have I heard that before?

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Becoming Her.
Becoming Me.

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Date when you’re ready, not when you’re single!

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