“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 200 times and we’re probably in a situationship.” Navigating relationships has never been easy but it should never be this complicated. Let’s just chill. Let’s just be cool. Let’s have sex, and let’s be confused about the fact we are not together but have feelings for each other. Welcome to the era of situationships.
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Can we be honest with ourselves? In life we will encounter many failed relationships. You know the ones I mean? The ones that never quite hit the spot, yet you stayed, a little longer than you intended. Hoping that one day it would change and magically transform into everything you ever wanted, only it never did. At the time you can’t understand why it didn’t work but there’s a really simple reason.
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I can’t believe it’s been twenty years since you left us, but in truth I still see you every day.
I hear your words; I smell your smell and feel your warmth. It doesn’t matter that you are no longer here, for me you will always be with me, for you are part of me and I you.
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Show me a woman that hasn’t been cheated on, abused in some manner or taken advantage of and I’ll show you a liar.
As women we carry around a lot of baggage that some of us fail to shed when we move from one relationship to another, because we simply don’t deal with what went wrong. Much easier to bury our heads in the sand.
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There are two ways of spreading light; To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
Have you ever come across someone whose sheer presence brings calm? You don’t know them but there’s just something about them. You feel like it’s all going to be ok and you are so lucky to have met them, it changes your very being.
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The other day a friend sent me one of the funniest comedy performances I’ve ever seen, where Dave Chappelle proceeded to talk about what a catastrophe it was that Chivalry was dead… Cue all the women in the audience cheering loudly
Then he said… Women killed it – complete silence.
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Scrolling through my social media the other day I noticed a post from a guy asking for advice on the the best way to ask out a girl he works with. What ensued was a tirade of comments telling him not to do it; ‘just go to work to work and leave dating for the outside world’ ‘don’t shit on your own doorstep’ ‘I still work with my ex-husband, believe me it’s not worth it’. What a bunch of negative nellies.
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We were getting along so well, yet you didn’t think twice about pulling away. When I asked you what changed? You told me that I deserved better, and you couldn’t give me what I want. What a load of crap, of course you could, but you chose not to. You were too coward to admit that you didn’t want to, so instead you left me no choice but to walk away and as I walked away so did a little part of my faith and hope.
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When we’re younger we strive to become this perfect version of ourselves, seeing our flaws as something we need to work on.
It’s taken me the best part of fifty years to accept who I am, embracing my imperfections.
Because being flawesome is not just making peace with your flaws; it’s knowing that without them, you would not be you.
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You never quite forget the moment you think it’s all over. The moment you wish you hadn’t fallen out with those you love; Said the things you had to someone you care about.
Anger makes you say some silly things. But at that moment you hope beyond hope that those you are about to leave behind will forget the harsh words you whispered, and will remember you with the true love you had for them.
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“I just love her energy. Doesn’t she have a great vibe? She doesn’t take any sh*t. She’s always in control of her life’. She’s got such a good heart. Why is she still single?”
Words I hear often and here’s the thing I am all those things and more but there are days I’m also all those things and less. Yes, I’m kind; caring; considerate; smart; easy on the eye (if you believe what they say).
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If you think I’m coming back, don’t hold your breath. I’m never coming back. Even in the rare moments of weakness when all I remember is the good, I will force myself to remember why I walked away in the first place. And I’ll carry on walking, as far away from you as I can.
Yes, I know, to me you are familiar, like my favourite perfume, no matter how hard I try I can recognise your scent anywhere.
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” If you ever want to know the truth about something, just ask a woman over 40. When a woman turns 40, her very last f *ck flies right out of the window.”
The older I get, the less I care about what people think of me. Therefore, the older I get, the more enjoy my life. It’s really quite liberating not to give an actual f**k what others think.
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Always trust your gut. Your brain can be fooled, and your heart is an idiot (sometimes), but your gut doesn’t know how to lie.
There are few times in life I’ve been wrong about a person, but the times I have are when I’ve ignored what my gut was telling me… you know, that niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach that you can’t quite identify, so you choose to ignore it.
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It’s been almost a decade since I first clapped eyes on you, yet I still remember it like it was yesterday, every last detail…
The way you looked in front of that Tequila lit bar: The way i felt when our eyes met. I tried so hard to tear my gaze away, but I just couldn’t. You captivated me. There was just something about you; you made me feel something I hadn’t in a very long time; something that resembled… hope, excitement & promise all rolled into one.
You were everything I’d hoped you’d be. A real-life manifestation of everything I looked for.
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Feels like a strange thing to say, because it makes it seem like everything that happens to us is somehow our own fault. So let me be clear what I’m not saying is we reap what we sow.
Tolerance however is a strange notion, so familiar yet so alien. We go through our whole lives tolerating things it just becomes the norm. So much so that we stop seeing it as something we tolerate & just accept it as a way of life.
But we must be careful what we tolerate as we’re teaching people how to treat us.
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Yet another night passes, while i just lay there, willing sleep to come. I’m so tired yet my mind is performing its usual acrobatics. I just want to scream at those tiny voices in my head ‘for the love of god, enough already, will you just be quiet’ but as usual they continue on their own merry little journey, without giving me a second’s thought.
I pride myself on being an accomplished woman. There are so many things I do particularly well in my life, overthinking however is one of my specialities.
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I loved you, even before I met you and the moment I laid eyes on you I knew I would love and protect you til my dying days. I know I didn’t give birth to you, so biologically you are not mine, but none of that matters, because I promise you no matter where I am, what I’m doing, whenever you need me, I will be there for you. That’s my unspoken promise to you.
Who says that you must give birth to a child to be their mother? What about those women that step up every day and do what any good mum should?
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‘Be with a man who loves you more than you love them’. A common piece of advice given in early adult life. At the time I thought this was the most ludicrous thing I’d ever heard; I mean who in their right mind would want to be with someone they didn’t love as much as the other loved them? Looking back however, I now understand exactly what it means.
We’ve all been there… In a relationship with someone who we know doesn’t tick all our boxes or get our pulse racing, but we stay, for longer than we intended, feeling unfulfilled.
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It’s hard to pinpoint when I lost the old me – the woman who fell in love with abandonment, the eternal optimist who believed everything would work out and the hopeless romantic I once was. Yes, I still see flashes of that person, but not nearly often enough. Like many, life has hardened me, and I’ve become jaded.
But there are times I miss the old me, silly but innocent. Sometimes I just want to press reset, but life doesn’t come with a remote or buttons. Sometimes I want back the foolishly impulsive me, her heart was pure and free from hurt.
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