As a seasoned dater, i can tell you it isn’t easy.
But i brush myself down and carry on. Each time a little bit of me disappears with the person that it didn’t work out with. But i’ve accepted it for what it is.
It hasn’t been all doom and gloom, i’ve some wild experiences, stories i will dine off for years to come.
“I am lost to a thought buried in my bones. I am cursed with the idea that I am not enough.” Blake Auden.
When I first read this quote, it struck a chord, deep down in the place I like to bury all my demons and I can’t seem to shake it. Something he said keeps plaguing me. “Of all the curses I’m destined to carry, the simple idea that I’m not enough continues to be the heaviest’.
read moreIn this day and age of swiping, have we lost the potential to have our own beautiful, epic love story? What will we tell our children?
Well mummy was bored one day, and she thought she’d scroll through Hinge. Your dad caught her eye and she messaged ‘hi, nice smile’, they got talking, met for drinks, but daddy was also seeing 8 other women until he decided mummy was the one for him.
read more“You are not a man until you give your love, truly & freely to a child. And you are not a good man until you earn the love, truly & freely, of a child in return.” Gregory David Roberts
It’s hard to understand love if you’ve never experienced it, and I’m not just talking about the love between two adults in a committed relationship, No, I’m talking about the kind of love that teaches you what real love is.
read moreI often get asked ‘why are you still single?’ A question that makes me laugh and angers me in equal proportions. No one sets out to live their whole lives single, without the love, support & warmth of someone to walk beside them.I am single through choice and not because I have no choice. Like most women I have plenty of choice, but it’s what we choose to do with those choices that changes the course of our lives.
read moreWe’ve heard it a million times, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Put bluntly we don’t talk the same language and we’re not turned on by the same things. It’s said men are visual beings while women emotional. This would explain why men need to be physical with a woman to feel emotions. Women on the on the other hand need to feel emotions before she can become physical with a man.
read more“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 200 times and we’re probably in a situationship.” Navigating relationships has never been easy but it should never be this complicated. Let’s just chill. Let’s just be cool. Let’s have sex, and let’s be confused about the fact we are not together but have feelings for each other. Welcome to the era of situationships.
read moreCan we be honest with ourselves? In life we will encounter many failed relationships. You know the ones I mean? The ones that never quite hit the spot, yet you stayed, a little longer than you intended. Hoping that one day it would change and magically transform into everything you ever wanted, only it never did. At the time you can’t understand why it didn’t work but there’s a really simple reason.
read moreShow me a woman that hasn’t been cheated on, abused in some manner or taken advantage of and I’ll show you a liar.
As women we carry around a lot of baggage that some of us fail to shed when we move from one relationship to another, because we simply don’t deal with what went wrong. Much easier to bury our heads in the sand.
read moreThe other day a friend sent me one of the funniest comedy performances I’ve ever seen, where Dave Chappelle proceeded to talk about what a catastrophe it was that Chivalry was dead… Cue all the women in the audience cheering loudly
Then he said… Women killed it – complete silence.
read more“Men age like wine. Women age like milk.” Some unknown idiotic male
As a woman that is surrounded by women who are most definitely fine wines, not curdled milk, this expression is quite possibly the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. And between you and me I’ve heard some pretty stupid things.
read moreScrolling through my social media the other day I noticed a post from a guy asking for advice on the the best way to ask out a girl he works with. What ensued was a tirade of comments telling him not to do it; ‘just go to work to work and leave dating for the outside world’ ‘don’t shit on your own doorstep’ ‘I still work with my ex-husband, believe me it’s not worth it’. What a bunch of negative nellies.
read moreWe were getting along so well, yet you didn’t think twice about pulling away. When I asked you what changed? You told me that I deserved better, and you couldn’t give me what I want. What a load of crap, of course you could, but you chose not to. You were too coward to admit that you didn’t want to, so instead you left me no choice but to walk away and as I walked away so did a little part of my faith and hope.
read more“They say that being jealous is an act of love. I say that if you love and care for that person you should also learn to trust.”
You noticed her the second she walked in. There was something about her that you were inexplicably drawn to. Maybe it’s the confidence with which she strode past you, commanding your attention; Or the cheeky glint in her eye, you know she’s trouble.
read moreIf you think I’m coming back, don’t hold your breath. I’m never coming back. Even in the rare moments of weakness when all I remember is the good, I will force myself to remember why I walked away in the first place. And I’ll carry on walking, as far away from you as I can.
Yes, I know, to me you are familiar, like my favourite perfume, no matter how hard I try I can recognise your scent anywhere.
read moreIt’s been almost a decade since I first clapped eyes on you, yet I still remember it like it was yesterday, every last detail…
The way you looked in front of that Tequila lit bar: The way i felt when our eyes met. I tried so hard to tear my gaze away, but I just couldn’t. You captivated me. There was just something about you; you made me feel something I hadn’t in a very long time; something that resembled… hope, excitement & promise all rolled into one.
You were everything I’d hoped you’d be. A real-life manifestation of everything I looked for.
read more‘Be with a man who loves you more than you love them’. A common piece of advice given in early adult life. At the time I thought this was the most ludicrous thing I’d ever heard; I mean who in their right mind would want to be with someone they didn’t love as much as the other loved them? Looking back however, I now understand exactly what it means.
We’ve all been there… In a relationship with someone who we know doesn’t tick all our boxes or get our pulse racing, but we stay, for longer than we intended, feeling unfulfilled.
read moreLet’s be honest we’ve all been there. We thought we’d met someone warm, caring and. understanding. Someone we could see a future with, but slowly started seeing flashes of behaviour that didn’t quite fit with the person we thought they were. So, we brushed it off, thinking we were imagining it. Before we knew it, we were celebrating our one-year anniversary. Yes, we’re still together but those flashes have now become a way of life.
Congratulations you’re officially in a toxic relationship, and you know your abuser well.
read moreThere are two types of people in this world. Those that can stay friends with their exes and those that need a clean slate and choose to walk away. I am firmly in the first camp.
There are many reasons our relationships fail; me I like to cut my losses and walk away if I don’t feel like it’s going anywhere. That is no reflection on my ex and doesn’t make him a bad person. It just means I didn’t feel they were right for me as a life partner, but they were great people, so we were just better as friends.
read moreLet’s be honest, falling in love in today’s world Is tough. Gone are the days when you locked eyes with that devilishly handsome stranger across the bar; or on your daily commute; or shock, horror, gasp while you were walking down the street. if someone stopped you in the street now, you’d think you were either about to get mugged, or you’d need to get a restraining order against them.
read moreWhat is the point of bad dates if not to have amusing anecdotes to share with your friends? Gabrielle Zevin.
The other day I was talking to a guy I was once seeing, my Mr Falls Too Fast, about his dating experiences pre and post me. Our conversation sounded something similar to the Top Trumps of dating experiences.
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