Scrolling through my social media the other day I noticed a post from a guy asking for advice on the the best way to ask out a girl he works with. What ensued was a tirade of comments telling him not to do it; ‘just go to work to work and leave dating for the outside world’ ‘don’t shit on your own doorstep’ ‘I still work with my ex-husband, believe me it’s not worth it’. What a bunch of negative nellies.
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We were getting along so well, yet you didn’t think twice about pulling away. When I asked you what changed? You told me that I deserved better, and you couldn’t give me what I want. What a load of crap, of course you could, but you chose not to. You were too coward to admit that you didn’t want to, so instead you left me no choice but to walk away and as I walked away so did a little part of my faith and hope.
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“They say that being jealous is an act of love. I say that if you love and care for that person you should also learn to trust.”
You noticed her the second she walked in. There was something about her that you were inexplicably drawn to. Maybe it’s the confidence with which she strode past you, commanding your attention; Or the cheeky glint in her eye, you know she’s trouble.
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It’s been almost a decade since I first clapped eyes on you, yet I still remember it like it was yesterday, every last detail…
The way you looked in front of that Tequila lit bar: The way i felt when our eyes met. I tried so hard to tear my gaze away, but I just couldn’t. You captivated me. There was just something about you; you made me feel something I hadn’t in a very long time; something that resembled… hope, excitement & promise all rolled into one.
You were everything I’d hoped you’d be. A real-life manifestation of everything I looked for.
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‘Be with a man who loves you more than you love them’. A common piece of advice given in early adult life. At the time I thought this was the most ludicrous thing I’d ever heard; I mean who in their right mind would want to be with someone they didn’t love as much as the other loved them? Looking back however, I now understand exactly what it means.
We’ve all been there… In a relationship with someone who we know doesn’t tick all our boxes or get our pulse racing, but we stay, for longer than we intended, feeling unfulfilled.
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There are two types of people in this world. Those that can stay friends with their exes and those that need a clean slate and choose to walk away. I am firmly in the first camp.
There are many reasons our relationships fail; me I like to cut my losses and walk away if I don’t feel like it’s going anywhere. That is no reflection on my ex and doesn’t make him a bad person. It just means I didn’t feel they were right for me as a life partner, but they were great people, so we were just better as friends.
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Let’s be honest, falling in love in today’s world Is tough. Gone are the days when you locked eyes with that devilishly handsome stranger across the bar; or on your daily commute; or shock, horror, gasp while you were walking down the street. if someone stopped you in the street now, you’d think you were either about to get mugged, or you’d need to get a restraining order against them.
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What is the point of bad dates if not to have amusing anecdotes to share with your friends? Gabrielle Zevin.
The other day I was talking to a guy I was once seeing, my Mr Falls Too Fast, about his dating experiences pre and post me. Our conversation sounded something similar to the Top Trumps of dating experiences.
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“I knew I had to leave, I was tired of feeling empty and forcing sleep to escape the pain of feeling unloved and unworthy. I was giving too much of myself and not receiving enough. I was depriving myself of happiness and not smiling enough. I was floating along with feelings but had to jump off with pride. Moving on for the better, ready for something better.” Tene Edwards, Walk with Wings.
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“People say you don’t exist. Yes, I agree no one is perfect but people can be right with all their imperfections and flaws, can’t they? So, you must know that I do believe in you. I do believe somewhere out there you do exist”. Ankita Singhal
Some may say I am a commitment-phobe. Me, I like to think of myself as more of a ‘won’t settle for anything less than she wants’ kinda girl and until I find Mr Right I’ll just carry on with life, trying the relationships on for size.
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“If you push me away, I promise you, you won’t find me where you left me. My heart’s big, but not big enough to deal with people who decide to love me when it’s convenient. The Modern Break Up.
Let’s imagine a very common scenario. Boy meets girl, there’s an instant attraction, you’re getting along really well, you have a great connection, you talk long into the night about anything & everything, get each other’s sense of humour & then out of the blue you hear those familiar words.
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