Over the last few years, I’ve been on a different kind of journey, one that turned out to be one of the most extraordinary journeys of my life. The currency used here isn’t money, instead you trade old habits, inhibitions, and patterns of behaviour, a unknown place that you don’t plan to go but the plane makes an emergency stop. A place where you have to be prepared to step out of your comfort zone and embrace a true journey of discovery.
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“You cannot beat a river into submission. You have to surrender to its current and use its power as your own” The Ancient One, Dr Strange. Now I don’t know about you, but I love to dance, The Argentinian Tango, Paso Doble, Even a good old-fashioned foxtrot. But there’s one tune I cannot dance to and that’s Submission. I vehemently detest the word and no matter what anyone says, I will never change my mind..
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In a world that’s always on, always connected, distraction is the norm and genuine connection is rare. It’s easy to get lost in this sea of distraction and feel overwhelmed and disconnected I’ve found myself yearning for silence, something quieter but infinitely more powerful; a higher frequency; a place where I can tune out the noise and tap into a deeper, more meaningful connection with myself, with others, and with the universe.
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Someone I once loved, gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that too was a gift.” Mary Oliver. Adversity is relentless, unapologetic, and often arrives without warning. In the grand narrative of life, it will always be the enemy, challenging our resolve, testing our limits, and pushing us to the brink of despair. But within our darkest moments, there’s lies a hidden strength, a quiet, unyielding force that whispers of resilience.
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“Sometimes you’ll just be too much woman.Too smart, too beautiful, too strong, too much of something that makes a man feel like less of a man, which will make you feel like you have to be less of a woman. The biggest mistake you can make is removing jewels from your crown to make it easier for a man to carry. When this happens, I need you to understand You do not need a smaller crown, you need a man with bigger hands” Michael Reid
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In the hustle and bustle of life, we often find ourselves caught up in the narratives we’ve inherited or the stories we’ve fallen into. But only a few will stop, hit pause, grab a pen, and rewrite their life story. Fear of the unknown often paralyses us, but as Gandhi famously said we must be the change we want to see and unless we’re brave enough to travel to an unfamiliar place, we’ll never be able to reframe our minds and change the course of our lives.
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“Establish your deal breakers and don’t ever allow people pleasing to let you compromise your core values.” Maryam Hasnaa.
Everyone has different deal breakers, but there are some universal ones we shouldn’t ignore.
In this wild urban jungle where love is both the feast and the famine, I’m sat here asking myself, have I been pursuing this whole romance thing all wrong?
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Aaaah love, that one thing we’re all searching for, even when we tell ourselves we’re not. That inexplicable thing that makes us crazy things and keeps us coming back for more. It all starts with lust, the first thing we see is their physical beauty, their smile, their eyes, maybe their physique. It’s not until our hearts and minds kick in, do we see the person for who they really are. But what good are eyes if our hearts and minds can’t see clearly?
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“My mother once told me – When you hold a man’s hand and he makes your heart beat faster, making you feel all giddy and excited, walk away. He’s not the man for you. If you hold a man’s hand and he makes you feel warm, safe, and secure – hold onto him. This is the man you should marry.” I hear these voices in my head, telling me time and time again to walk away. Yet here I am looking at myself standing still, unable to move.
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Breaking up is never easy. The end of a romantic relationship can leave us feeling hurt, betrayed, and lost, especially if one of you wasn’t ready for it to end. If you are currently going through this, I know it will be hard to believe but you can turn that pain into something beautiful. If you are thinking about staying friends with an ex (I don’t advise it with every single one) here’s a few things to think about…
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“When a woman says, ‘I have nothing to wear’ what she actually means is, there is nothing here for who I am supposed to be today.” Caitlin Moran. As I’m sitting here with my writer’s hat on (one of many that I wear throughout the day), I’m plagued by thoughts of the numerous roles the modern-day woman plays. All the while trying to be the best versions of ourselves. Me… Daughter, sister, aunt, friend, coach, writer, cook, provider and finally me.
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“Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.” Paulo Coehlo While channel flicking, I recently came across a programme, exploring the beauty of Polygamy. The Monogamist in me watched on, mortified at these couples’ swapping partners without a care in the world. I should have
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“Being alone does not mean you are lonely, and being lonely does not mean you are alone.” Unknown
As someone who has spent many nights alone, I know the feeling of loneliness all too well. But with time I’ve also come to understand that being alone doesn’t automatically equate to being lonely. In fact, there are times when I love nothing more than spending time with myself.
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“I think you knew the first time you touched me, where this would end. I think you have always understood that the destiny of glass is to break.” Blake Auden
Growing up, I was surrounded by fairy tales and romcoms painting the perfect love story – boy meets girl, they fall in love, and live happily ever after. I still love of romcoms, but I’ve accepted reality seldom lives up to the fairy tale.
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Flirt: When you fall for someone’s words.
Lust: When you fall for someone’s beauty
Love: When you fall for someone’s soul.
Over the last decade, the dating landscape has changed. How we meet people, how we navigate the first date, how we move from casual dating to a committed relationship. With it we have a long set of rules women are using. separating the players from serious contenders.
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“Some people don’t love you; they don’t even care about you. They just want to stay connected to you. They love the benefits. So, they do the minimal. A little phone call here and there, just checking on you. What they are really doing is maintaining the connection, so when they need / want you, they still have a way in.”
Unknown
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“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Annie Lamott
Care… A simple and universally understood word, once upon a time associated with looking after others. Now widely recognised by both men and woman about something we should do for ourselves. In today’s fast-paced world, we’ve become so caught up in the chaos …
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“Everybody knows the pressure of a first date: Searching for that perfect outfit. Hunting for ways to be engaging. Dissecting each detail when it’s over to check for mistakes. Dating can make even the most confident person lose their cool.” Kelly Starling
If they handed out awards for going on the most first dates, I reckon I’d be in with a fighting chance of winning.
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“By trying to please everybody, nice guys often end up pleasing nobody – including themselves.” Robert A Glover
When I was younger, I was always attracted to a bad boy, there was just something about him that I couldn’t resist. That fantastic swagger, the way he dressed, the cockiness it was all too much, I just couldn’t say no. I’d like to say that I’ve changed, but that’s not 100% true.
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“It’s ok to have bad days, to put yourself first, to feel less than perfect, to want to feel more like you again.” Unknown
We all have those days when we think, could this day get any worse? And I’m not talking about the kind of bad day where you’re rushing out the door, trip and spill your coffee all over your pristine, white dress. F**k me it’s not even 9 a.m. Could this day get any worse?
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