Suki K

Here’s to a True Year.
Not just another New Year.

“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.” Unknown

Each year when the clock strikes midnight we make all these silly resolutions. And if we’re honest, we’re never going to keep.  But why do we feel the need to start the new year with promises to improve? Who started this never-ending tradition of self-imposed pressure?

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What’s the rush?
It’ll be worth the wait.

I often get asked ‘why are you still single?’ A question that makes me laugh and angers me in equal proportions. No one sets out to live their whole lives single, without the love, support & warmth of someone to walk beside them.I am single through choice and not because I have no choice. Like most women I have plenty of choice, but it’s what we choose to do with those choices that changes the course of our lives.

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Big Spoon and Little Spoon get lost in translation.

We’ve heard it a million times, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Put bluntly we don’t talk the same language and we’re not turned on by the same things. It’s said men are visual beings while women emotional. This would explain why men need to be physical with a woman to feel emotions. Women on the on the other hand need to feel emotions before she can become physical with a man.

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It’s not a relationship.
It’s a situationship.

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 200 times and we’re probably in a situationship.” Navigating relationships has never been easy but it should never be this complicated. Let’s just chill. Let’s just be cool. Let’s have sex, and let’s be confused about the fact we are not together but have feelings for each other. Welcome to the era of situationships.

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The most perfect love affair. The one with yourself.

Can we be honest with ourselves? In life we will encounter many failed relationships. You know the ones I mean? The ones that never quite hit the spot, yet you stayed, a little longer than you intended. Hoping that one day it would change and magically transform into everything you ever wanted, only it never did.  At the time you can’t understand why it didn’t work but there’s a really simple reason.

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From Queen to Savage in the blink of an eye.

Show me a woman that hasn’t been cheated on, abused in some manner or taken advantage of and I’ll show you a liar.

As women we carry around a lot of baggage that some of us fail to shed when we move from one relationship to another, because we simply don’t deal with what went wrong. Much easier to bury our heads in the sand.

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In the right light, everything is extraordinary.

There are two ways of spreading light; To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

Have you ever come across someone whose sheer presence brings calm?  You don’t know them but there’s just something about them. You feel like it’s all going to be ok and you are so lucky to have met them, it changes your very being.

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Is chivalry dead? I’m not sure m’lady.

The other day a friend sent me one of the funniest comedy performances I’ve ever seen, where Dave Chappelle proceeded to talk about what a catastrophe it was that Chivalry was dead… Cue all the women in the audience cheering loudly

Then he said… Women killed it – complete silence.

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While his value appreciates, yours depreciates. What?

“Men age like wine. Women age like milk.” Some unknown idiotic male

As a woman that is surrounded by women who are most definitely fine wines, not curdled milk, this expression is quite possibly the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. And between you and me I’ve heard some pretty stupid things.

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Are you here on business or pleasure? Both

Scrolling through my social media the other day I noticed a post from a guy asking for advice on the the best way to ask out a girl he works with. What ensued was a tirade of comments telling him not to do it; ‘just go to work to work and leave dating for the outside world’ ‘don’t shit on your own doorstep’ ‘I still work with my ex-husband, believe me it’s not worth it’. What a bunch of negative nellies.

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Date their reality.
Not their potential.

We were getting along so well, yet you didn’t think twice about pulling away. When I asked you what changed? You told me that I deserved better, and you couldn’t give me what I want. What a load of crap, of course you could, but you chose not to. You were too coward to admit that you didn’t want to, so instead you left me no choice but to walk away and as I walked away so did a little part of my faith and hope.

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Why be awesome, when you can be flawesome?

When we’re younger we strive to become this perfect version of ourselves, seeing our flaws as something we need to work on.

It’s taken me the best part of fifty years to accept who I am, embracing my imperfections.

Because being flawesome is not just making peace with your flaws; it’s knowing that without them, you would not be you.

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A lot can change in one fleeting moment.

You never quite forget the moment you think it’s all over. The moment you wish you hadn’t fallen out with those you love; Said the things you had to someone you care about.

Anger makes you say some silly things. But at that moment you hope beyond hope that those you are about to leave behind will forget the harsh words you whispered, and will remember you with the true love you had for them.

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Fake diamonds look perfect. Real ones have flaws.

“I just love her energy. Doesn’t she have a great vibe? She doesn’t take any sh*t. She’s always in control of her life’. She’s got such a good heart. Why is she still single?”

Words I hear often and here’s the thing I am all those things and more but there are days I’m also all those things and less.  Yes, I’m kind; caring; considerate; smart; easy on the eye (if you believe what they say).

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You’re hot. He’s bothered. Hello Green-eyed monster.

“They say that being jealous is an act of love.  I say that if you love and care for that person you should also learn to trust.”

You noticed her the second she walked in. There was something about her that you were inexplicably drawn to. Maybe it’s the confidence with which she strode past you, commanding your attention; Or the cheeky glint in her eye, you know she’s trouble.

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Discrimination comes in all shapes and sizes.

Over the last decade equality in the workplace has been the key focus, a topic we’re hard pushed to ignore.

Whether that be gender equality, maintaining the right ethnic mix or ensuring those with disabilities are given a fair chance.

We are an equal opportunities employer seems the norm. But is it just a numbers game?

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One thing they can never be again is a stranger.

If you think I’m coming back, don’t hold your breath. I’m never coming back. Even in the rare moments of weakness when all I remember is the good, I will force myself to remember why I walked away in the first place. And I’ll carry on walking, as far away from you as I can.

Yes, I know, to me you are familiar, like my favourite perfume, no matter how hard I try I can recognise your scent anywhere.

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That’s right. Zero F**ks given.

” If you ever want to know the truth about something, just ask a woman over 40. When a woman turns 40, her very last f *ck flies right out of the window.”

The older I get, the less I care about what people think of me. Therefore, the older I get, the more enjoy my life. It’s really quite liberating not to give an actual f**k what others think.

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Yep. It’s exactly what you think it is.

Always trust your gut. Your brain can be fooled, and your heart is an idiot (sometimes), but your gut doesn’t know how to lie.

There are few times in life I’ve been wrong about a person, but the times I have are when I’ve ignored what my gut was telling me… you know, that niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach that you can’t quite identify, so you choose to ignore it.

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