todaysheis.me

First date etiquette. The male | female expectation.

“Everybody knows the pressure of a first date: Searching for that perfect outfit. Hunting for ways to be engaging. Dissecting each detail when it’s over to check for mistakes. Dating can make even the most confident person lose their cool.” Kelly Starling

If they handed out awards for going on the most first dates, I reckon I’d be in with a fighting chance of winning.

14 Min Reading

Dear Mr Nice guy, You don’t have to finish last.

“By trying to please everybody, nice guys often end up pleasing nobody – including themselves.” Robert A Glover

When I was younger, I was always attracted to a bad boy, there was just something about him that I couldn’t resist. That fantastic swagger, the way he dressed, the cockiness it was all too much, I just couldn’t say no. I’d like to say that I’ve changed, but that’s not 100% true.

6 Min Reading

It’s not a bad day.
It’s a me day.

“It’s ok to have bad days, to put yourself first, to feel less than perfect, to want to feel more like you again.” Unknown

We all have those days when we think, could this day get any worse? And I’m not talking about the kind of bad day where you’re rushing out the door, trip and spill your coffee all over your pristine, white dress. F**k me it’s not even 9 a.m. Could this day get any worse?

6 Min Reading

Women don’t get played. They play themselves.

In the words of the very wise Maya Angelou “When someone shows you are they are, believe them the first time’.

Men are straightforward creatures. If they want something badly enough, they’ll be sure to let you know. Women on the other hand hold on for dear life to the smallest glimmer of hope, which is inherently why we get played. We let things slide …

7 Min Reading

Teach your demons to roam without causing damage.

“I am lost to a thought buried in my bones. I am cursed with the idea that I am not enough.” Blake Auden.

When I first read this quote, it struck a chord, deep down in the place I like to bury all my demons and I can’t seem to shake it. Something he said keeps plaguing me. “Of all the curses I’m destined to carry, the simple idea that I’m not enough continues to be the heaviest’.

6 Min Reading

I belong to me. Not you, not him, not her, just me.

Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.

‘Know thyself’ arguably one of the oldest profound truths, which the Greeks inscribed on the temple of Delphi. But it seems that something seemingly easy still confuses us. Why you ask? Well, there are many reasons we never really truly know ourselves and therefore never completely belong to ourselves.

6 Min Reading

Have we seen the last of the great love stories?

In this day and age of swiping, have we lost the potential to have our own beautiful, epic love story? What will we tell our children?

Well mummy was bored one day, and she thought she’d scroll through Hinge. Your dad caught her eye and she messaged ‘hi, nice smile’, they got talking, met for drinks, but daddy was also seeing 8 other women until he decided mummy was the one for him.

8 Min Reading

Every woman needs the love of a good man.

“You are not a man until you give your love, truly & freely to a child. And you are not a good man until you earn the love, truly & freely, of a child in return.” Gregory David Roberts

It’s hard to understand love if you’ve never experienced it, and I’m not just talking about the love between two adults in a committed relationship, No, I’m talking about the kind of love that teaches you what real love is.

7 Min Reading

Here’s to a True Year.
Not just another New Year.

“If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, look in the mirror.” Unknown

Each year when the clock strikes midnight we make all these silly resolutions. And if we’re honest, we’re never going to keep. But why do we feel the need to start the new year with promises to improve? Who started this never-ending tradition of self-imposed pressure?

7 Min Reading

What’s the rush?
It’ll be worth the wait.

I often get asked ‘why are you still single?’ A question that makes me laugh and angers me in equal proportions. No one sets out to live their whole lives single, without the love, support & warmth of someone to walk beside them.I am single through choice and not because I have no choice. Like most women I have plenty of choice, but it’s what we choose to do with those choices that changes the course of our lives.

9 Min Reading

Big Spoon and Little Spoon get lost in translation.

We’ve heard it a million times, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Put bluntly we don’t talk the same language and we’re not turned on by the same things. It’s said men are visual beings while women emotional. This would explain why men need to be physical with a woman to feel emotions. Women on the on the other hand need to feel emotions before she can become physical with a man.

7 Min Reading

It’s not a relationship.
It’s a situationship.

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 200 times and we’re probably in a situationship.” Navigating relationships has never been easy but it should never be this complicated. Let’s just chill. Let’s just be cool. Let’s have sex, and let’s be confused about the fact we are not together but have feelings for each other. Welcome to the era of situationships.

9 Min Reading

The most perfect love affair. The one with yourself.

Can we be honest with ourselves? In life we will encounter many failed relationships. You know the ones I mean? The ones that never quite hit the spot, yet you stayed, a little longer than you intended. Hoping that one day it would change and magically transform into everything you ever wanted, only it never did. At the time you can’t understand why it didn’t work but there’s a really simple reason.

7 Min Reading

Grandmothers, hold our hands for a while, but our hearts forever.

I can’t believe it’s been twenty years since you left us, but in truth I still see you every day.

I hear your words; I smell your smell and feel your warmth. It doesn’t matter that you are no longer here, for me you will always be with me, for you are part of me and I you.

10 Min Reading

From Queen to Savage in the blink of an eye.

Show me a woman that hasn’t been cheated on, abused in some manner or taken advantage of and I’ll show you a liar.

As women we carry around a lot of baggage that some of us fail to shed when we move from one relationship to another, because we simply don’t deal with what went wrong. Much easier to bury our heads in the sand.

7 Min Reading

In the right light, everything is extraordinary.

There are two ways of spreading light; To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

Have you ever come across someone whose sheer presence brings calm? You don’t know them but there’s just something about them. You feel like it’s all going to be ok and you are so lucky to have met them, it changes your very being.

8 Min Reading

Is chivalry dead? I’m not sure m’lady.

The other day a friend sent me one of the funniest comedy performances I’ve ever seen, where Dave Chappelle proceeded to talk about what a catastrophe it was that Chivalry was dead… Cue all the women in the audience cheering loudly

Then he said… Women killed it – complete silence.

7 Min Reading

While his value appreciates, yours depreciates. What?

“Men age like wine. Women age like milk.” Some unknown idiotic male

As a woman that is surrounded by women who are most definitely fine wines, not curdled milk, this expression is quite possibly the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever heard. And between you and me I’ve heard some pretty stupid things.

5 Min Reading

Are you here on business or pleasure? Both

Scrolling through my social media the other day I noticed a post from a guy asking for advice on the the best way to ask out a girl he works with. What ensued was a tirade of comments telling him not to do it; ‘just go to work to work and leave dating for the outside world’ ‘don’t shit on your own doorstep’ ‘I still work with my ex-husband, believe me it’s not worth it’. What a bunch of negative nellies.

7 Min Reading

Date their reality.
Not their potential.

We were getting along so well, yet you didn’t think twice about pulling away. When I asked you what changed? You told me that I deserved better, and you couldn’t give me what I want. What a load of crap, of course you could, but you chose not to. You were too coward to admit that you didn’t want to, so instead you left me no choice but to walk away and as I walked away so did a little part of my faith and hope.

6 Min Reading

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First date etiquette. The male | female expectation.

Dear Mr Nice guy, You don’t have to finish last.

It’s not a bad day.
It’s a me day.

Women don’t get played. They play themselves.

Teach your demons to roam without causing damage.

I belong to me. Not you, not him, not her, just me.

Have we seen the last of the great love stories?

Every woman needs the love of a good man.

Here’s to a True Year.
Not just another New Year.

What’s the rush?
It’ll be worth the wait.

Big Spoon and Little Spoon get lost in translation.

It’s not a relationship.
It’s a situationship.

The most perfect love affair. The one with yourself.

Grandmothers, hold our hands for a while, but our hearts forever.

From Queen to Savage in the blink of an eye.

In the right light, everything is extraordinary.

Is chivalry dead? I’m not sure m’lady.

While his value appreciates, yours depreciates. What?

Are you here on business or pleasure? Both

Date their reality.
Not their potential.

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She changed the access.

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When the conversation flows but nothing else does.

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