Hello younger self, it’s good to see you again. Why don’t we have a little chat?
“Failure is fantastic, because you meet yourself and get to know your limitations. This is how I express myself, and I can’t do it any other way.”
Billy Childish.
I often ask myself if I could have a do over what would I change? The simple answer is very little. Because my journey, the twists and turns I took made me the woman I am today. And let me tell you, she’s pretty awesome.
Having said that if I ever met my younger self, these are the things I’d want her to know.
Life is never as bad as it seems.
There will be highs and lows, there will be times when we hit such a low we think we’ll never recover, but we always do. It’s those lows that challenge us and help us grow into the amazing we are today.
Appreciate your uniqueness.
What you see as imperfection is actually what makes you perfect. Yes your thighs may be bigger than you’d like, your nose might not be as cute as your friends, but I promise you, you are perfect in every way. Until you believe this no one else will.
Stop blaming others for your shortcomings.
It’s easy to blame others but we need to own our part in failure. That’s not English for become a doormat. Every action is a chain reaction. You cannot control how others react to you. Only how you react to what happens in your life.
The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself.
Work on that before you embark on one with someone else. In times of need, others may leave but you will never desert yourself. Become your own strength.
Our happiness is in our own hands not someone else’s.
Very often we stay in situations that stopped making us happy, whether that be an unfulfilling job, a friendship we’ve outgrown or a relationship that simply didn’t make us happy anymore. Have the strength to walk away.
Let go of the past.
Don’t let your past experiences / mistakes hold you back. The only person this will hurt is you. Forgive yourself and the person that caused you hurt. It will liberate you, allowing truly enriching experiences to come into your life. Your life will never be the same.
Don’t let pride get in the way.
Forgiving first, saying sorry, please or I love you does not make you weak. The other person may not appreciate your emotions or reciprocate but you’re not doing this for them. You’re doing it for you, the person you are and the one you want to be.
Lust and love are not the same thing.
It’s easy to fall in lust but it’s fleeting and once the rose tinted glassed are gone, you’ll see it for what it is. Love on the other hand is somewhat inexplicable. It will make you feel things you never thought possible. It won’t always last or try and change you but inevitably it will. Before you fall, know the difference.
Never see a relationship as a waste of time.
Open your eyes and learn the lesson it was trying to teach you. Yes, it’s disappointing that things didn’t work out but what did you learn? And how can you use that to make yourself a stronger, better person?
Don’t bottle it up.
If you can’t articulate what you are thinking / feeling how can you expect anyone else to understand? But be careful to taste your words before you spit them out, once they’ve left your mouth nothing you say can take them back. People will inevitably forget the words you used but they’ll never forget how those words made them feel.
Surround yourself with likeminded people.
The ones that will bring you up not drag you down. People that are happy for your success. Keep your circle small, once you find your ride or die’s hold onto them. True friends are hard to find, they’re the ones that aren’t scared to tell you when you are being an idiot, equally they’ll celebrate your success like it’s their own.
Listen to what they’re not saying.
Pay close attention to people’s actions not their words. Anyone can tell you what you want to hear but their actions are proof of their real intentions.
Trust your gut.
It will never fail you. Everyone will offer their opinion, and they may be right, but only you will truly know what’s right for you. Learn to listen to that inner voice. The biggest mistakes happen when we stop listening.
You can do anything you put your mind to.
Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. No matter how daunting the task may be, believe that you have everything it takes to make it happen.
You are never too much.
Some people will make you feel like you are too much, too smart, too beautiful, too accomplished but never dim your light to suit them. keep on shining bright.
Finally younger self, if I had known the things that I know now, I would have surely saved myself a lot of time and heartbreak, but hand on my heart the only things I regret are the things I didn’t do. Like staying 5 minutes longer with the friend I may not see again, taking the job that would have set me up for life, not being aloof or playing hard to get with the man who felt right, saying I was sorry, I love you and asking for help when I needed it instead of just muddling along.
These lessons i hope will serve you well in life.
this is amazing!!! 💙